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Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (7465)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

#6023107
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25976) - you deserved it (6718)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39835) - you deserved it (3255)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (5126)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

#6019106
134 comments

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9119) - you deserved it (26860)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

#6017534
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28702) - you deserved it (1633)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:04am - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

#6016625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to set up my brand new washer and dryer. How hard can it be, right? After cutting my hand in 3 places on the dryer vent, I finished it off with electrocuting myself. So much for being a domestic goddess. FML

#6014859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (9065)

On 10/26/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by annie00016 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML

#6013490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32380) - you deserved it (3307)

On 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by laxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26815) - you deserved it (5560)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

#6009820
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17950) - you deserved it (4937)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by FYLyfer (woman) - United States



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