Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 2:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Money

Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 1:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

by itssdianaa / 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

by Pain / 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML

by Kim422 / 06/28/2010 at 2:18am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

by ac13 / 06/27/2010 at 2:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a party. No one there was under 60. I'm 16 and it was the only party I've been to all year. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2010 at 6:07am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was twenty minutes into babysitting my twin baby cousins when I realized that there are no diapers to be found anywhere in the house. I have no way to get a hold of my aunt, no money to buy new diapers, and I don't even have a way to get to the store in the first place. The next few hours are going to be lovely. FML

by babysitter / 06/24/2010 at 5:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my parents made me a steak dinner to celebrate me visiting home from college. I've been a vegetarian for eleven years. This is the third time they've done this. FML

by cjkelly1 / 06/23/2010 at 7:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my colleagues don't add me on Facebook so that they can publicly put me down in their statuses, without me knowing. My boss liked the one which said that I talk too much. FML

by Cleo / 06/23/2010 at 10:27am / Brunei Darussalam / Work

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, my boyfriend of over 2 years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love