Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

#4994494
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (3603)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend who I've had serious feelings for for over a year decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost 2 years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up 6 months ago. 3 times. FML

#4993116
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22572) - you deserved it (3483)

On 09/02/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by sexytime (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, when my son woke up from his nap, he sleepily reached up. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he immediately pushed me away. He wasn't reaching for me, he was reaching for the bag of chips on the table next to me. FML

#4987188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (6026)

On 09/01/2009 at 10:17pm - kids - by pinks (woman) - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

#4985034
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6506) - you deserved it (24364)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:59pm - intimacy - by whorica139 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12071) - you deserved it (40568)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52460) - you deserved it (3983)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. After hundreds passive aggressive comments, my boyfriend and I went into the kitchen. I started complaining to him about how his parents were horrible and mean. Little did I know, his parents had followed us in and were right behind me. FML

#4974765
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13356) - you deserved it (43293)

On 09/01/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I told the guy I have been sort of dating that I want to connect emotionally before sleeping with him. He told me that he already had an emotional connection with his fiancée and was only interested in sleeping with me. FML

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

#4960471
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33480) - you deserved it (2377)

On 08/31/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by UGH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85671) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39197) - you deserved it (9410)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

#4952830
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50711) - you deserved it (3410)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by ohsugarxo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

#4952305
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (3074)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by kelkline (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: