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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML

#6205002
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33316) - you deserved it (2087)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:46pm - misc - by LifeSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I let my nephew and his friend spend the night to watch movies. After I fell asleep they stole my liquor and went roaming. When they saw the cop car in front of my house and realized they were busted, they went up to the cop and told them I gave them the alcohol to avoid being grounded. FML

#6201657
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (3249)

On 11/07/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by AuntSucka (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was me and my husband's anniversary. He was at work, so I decided to dress up "sexy". You know, the typical lacey thong and fishnets. I heard the door open, and what I thought was him was actually my brother who'd visited to wish me a happy anniversary. FML

#6199211
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19222) - you deserved it (5105)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by sexysue (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20789) - you deserved it (2185)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend because I suspected he had been cheating. His reply? "Took you long enough to figure it out." FML

#6194292
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39819) - you deserved it (4192)

On 11/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by batgirlrules881 (woman) - United States

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

#6193403
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (4720)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Blondegirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (15217)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23406) - you deserved it (9176)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

#6192085
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32891) - you deserved it (4459)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:12am - health - by chairlee (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML

#6191568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (6043)

On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm a 19 year old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on facebook chat. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML

#6186219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26597) - you deserved it (5888)

On 11/06/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

#6185780
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6971) - you deserved it (40440)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26157) - you deserved it (10038)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States



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