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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that I have been declared dead by my credit card company in England because I haven't used it since I moved to Thailand last year. I will need three witnesses to convince them that I am actually alive. FML

#7167765
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (2487)

On 01/05/2010 at 7:02pm - money - by Arsinoe (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

#7164896
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (12157)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by katiekat (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

#7163475
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27315) - you deserved it (6804)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:58pm - misc - by SplashOuch (woman) - United States

Today, I had a promo code for a free Redbox movie. Since I knew exactly which movie I wanted, I parked in a handicapped space because it was super close and I was cold. I didn't think anyone would notice, but apparently the cop that parked beside my car did. My free movie cost me $100. FML

#7163163
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6501) - you deserved it (74898)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:28pm - money - by handi-crap (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a phone call from the local utilities company, telling me in essence: "We regret to inform you that your meter was switched, and we have been billing you for an unoccupied unit for the past 15 months. You owe us $1123.28. We apologize for any inconvenience." FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML

#7162537
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (3530)

On 01/05/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by me (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

#7158529
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23171) - you deserved it (3626)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34242) - you deserved it (8927)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML

#7151625
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (8243)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the dentist to get a baby tooth which had decayed removed. After almost an hour, I came out with a numb mouth and a missing tooth for life. It was not a baby tooth. FML

#7148180
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28274) - you deserved it (6286)

On 01/04/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by meh (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I found my daughter's brand new ipod touch. At the bottom of the washing machine. FML

#7147521
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (5962)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:07pm - kids - by payne (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

#7147061
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33210) - you deserved it (6412)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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