Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44811) - you deserved it (14195)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:25am - kids - by Shnur (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21589) - you deserved it (48827)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (67766)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at my job as a cashier, a man and his 3-year old son got in line. The father said, "Give this to the pretty lady," looking at me. The kid looks at me, looks at his dad, and walks over to the next cashier. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55713) - you deserved it (2777)
On 04/04/2009 at 9:07pm - kids - by Nottheprettylady (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I were watching TV. An info-mercial came on for a diamond cross necklace that had the lord's prayer engraved inside of it. As the commercial ended I said, "who in their right mind would actually buy that?" Turns out, my husband would, for our anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (19340)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ALLALA (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52847) - you deserved it (7571)
On 04/04/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (124569)
On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227730) - you deserved it (13778)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11443) - you deserved it (145027)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was fixing my makeup in the back room of the office when my boss walked in. He looked kind of annoyed so I jokingly said "Don't you want your secretary to look good?" He said, "If I did I wouldn't have hired you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49843) - you deserved it (9096)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56364) - you deserved it (5476)
On 04/04/2009 at 8:08am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83623) - you deserved it (5820)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:50am - misc - by vetapplez (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66460) - you deserved it (32272)
On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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