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Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

#4709917
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

#4705802
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (37408)

On 08/21/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

#4702090
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9128) - you deserved it (40836)

On 08/21/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by onebadwave (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I have been dating for the past five years asked me to move to California with her to get married. Naturally, I was thrilled and said, "Of course, when do you want to leave?". She just stared at me blankly and said, "Shit, I was kidding." FML

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14728) - you deserved it (46057)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend threw me a going-away party. During the party, I caught him in my bedroom hooking up with my friend because "you're leaving soon anyway so it doesn't matter." I'll only be gone for 6 weeks. FML

#4694053
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40506) - you deserved it (2781)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by lonelyinlondon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year old daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "the talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

#4691287
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33061) - you deserved it (5851)

On 08/20/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by airplanes-suck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (5365)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54731) - you deserved it (41402)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83634) - you deserved it (7273)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46482) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

#4676323
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19082) - you deserved it (42700)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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