Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

by L.Lime05 / 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that my "secret admirer" I've been exchanging letters with for the last three months, and even started developing feelings for, is actually my ex best friend trying to pull a prank on me. FML

by pixiegirl / 08/08/2010 at 3:38pm / United States / Love

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

by Lifes_a_bust / 08/08/2010 at 12:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, we got new doors fitted. There were new locks on the bathroom, to the reluctance of my mother, who thought one of us would lock ourselves in. "Only an idiot would lock themselves in," I said, and shut the door to demonstrate. I locked myself in. FML

by Lola / 08/08/2010 at 10:32am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I decided to call the number a cute guy had scribbled onto a napkin and given to me. I was greeted by, "Hello, this is Dr. Allen's office." Surprised, because I didn't remember his name being anything close to Allen, I asked who Dr. Allen was. She's a psychologist. FML

by TRalalla / 08/07/2010 at 1:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML

by Single / 08/07/2010 at 7:01am / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of one year told me not to walk beside him because people might "think we're together". FML

by WastedTime / 08/07/2010 at 2:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

by Hunterxx / 08/07/2010 at 1:21am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I got home from work to find the door locked and dead bolted, so I used my cell to call the home phone while banging on the door. My stepmom came out of her room, looked right at me, laughed, and went back to bed. This is the fifth time she's done this. FML

by Tired / 08/05/2010 at 2:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a new debit card, so I cut the old one into pieces. I then picked up my remaining card, and realized I'd cut up the wrong one. FML

by 8to10days / 08/05/2010 at 7:14am / United Kingdom / Money