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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (2919)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

#5228035
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44968) - you deserved it (2032)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (3055)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

#5224177
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (23283)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. At the end of the night I got a cab ride home. I must have passed out because when I woke up I wasn’t at my place, but my parent’s house, which is the address on my license…120 miles away. The fare was $220. FML

#5223643
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12053) - you deserved it (40472)

On 09/13/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML

#5222877
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22320) - you deserved it (4326)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:04am - intimacy - by sunlightchild_14 (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

#5221967
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (2191)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:12am - work - by ofcourse (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

#5219756
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (3924)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:26am - love - by broken (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45998) - you deserved it (5868)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to a salon. As soon as I walked in, someone ran to me and inspected my hair and said, "We can fix this." I was there to get my daughter's hair done. FML

#5218043
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30549) - you deserved it (5590)

On 09/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by badhair (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend while looking at halloween costumes online for this years halloween party and said, "Maybe we could go as Bonnie and Clyde this year." He said, "Maybe we should go as a broken up couple," and hung up on me. He wasn't kidding. FML

#5217172
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35545) - you deserved it (3411)

On 09/12/2009 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a romantic date to the mountains to look a stars with a boy I had just met. We started kissing and he stopped, asking if it was rude for him to take me home now. After getting dropped off, he texted me saying we could never do that again and we should never talk about it. FML

#5210857
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44722) - you deserved it (4979)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

#5210731
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (88324)

On 09/12/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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