Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

#7231938
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14298) - you deserved it (33473)

On 01/09/2010 at 5:12am - misc - by Face (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was awoken at 1:30am by a strange noise, and something tugging on my hair. I opened my eyes, to find a very large rat sitting on my pillow, chewing my hair. FML

#7231229
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (3215)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:40am - misc - by Fran (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

#7231026
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (7242)

On 01/09/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by Snowin2007 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

#7229680
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (5821)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by warningxxLidell (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML

#7228897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11348) - you deserved it (42289)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML

#7228491
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13830) - you deserved it (25094)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:36am - health - by Ashy104 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I looked at my father's facebook for the first time in a month to see his status and it said "making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter. FML

#7226655
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (2888)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:08pm - love - by bitchface (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (5625)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped... right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML

#7225324
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:04pm - misc - by dancer4life (woman) - United States

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

#7224292
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (5503)

On 01/08/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by crappy_day (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

#7222174
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (4193)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm - love - by farmvillefail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

#7222160
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (2405)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I am really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date Tuesday. FML

#7218409
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (5574)

On 01/08/2010 at 3:06pm - love - by brokenrelicslost (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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