Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

by whatheffers / 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

by SOMAgirl / 07/06/2010 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML

by metalmusic / 07/05/2010 at 1:37am / United States / Love

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

by Sapphirlinda / 07/03/2010 at 7:25pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

by ZittyMii / 07/03/2010 at 3:52pm / United States (Colorado) / Geek

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

by embarrassed / 07/03/2010 at 3:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and must have rolled off. When I woke up, I noticed my braces were stuck to the rug. After frantically pulling, my mom finally sawed me off the rug with scissors. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2010 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML

by katara / 07/02/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

by Mikimiks93 / 07/02/2010 at 11:05am / South Africa (Limpopo) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML

by slut / 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

by JH / 06/30/2010 at 9:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love