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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at work and my mother texted me. The text read, "You take a nice picture." To which I responded, "what picture?" I then got a reply saying, "The one on your speeding ticket showing you going 73 in a 55 mph zone. You are even smiling." FML

#5337998
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8768) - you deserved it (40458)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by asdfas (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

#5337974
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46377) - you deserved it (6640)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

#5336281
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17179) - you deserved it (54110)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

#5335783
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11705) - you deserved it (53008)

On 09/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting for a delivery between 9am-8pm. At 7:30 pm, I finally decided to have a 3 minute (desperately needed) shower. During which time the delivery man came. I ran down the street in a towel that barely covered me. He was driving away looking at me in the mirror laughing. FML

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35173) - you deserved it (3696)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

#5329801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36154) - you deserved it (1959)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by cl512 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

#5328809
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42368) - you deserved it (3952)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML

#5328146
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36201) - you deserved it (2862)

On 09/18/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by London (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17761) - you deserved it (44630)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML

#5325524
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6954) - you deserved it (58655)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12910) - you deserved it (29466)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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