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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11358) - you deserved it (26381)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13197) - you deserved it (27118)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

#7380973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (4768)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67066) - you deserved it (7626)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (42068)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37309) - you deserved it (3518)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

#7378425
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (7245)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

#7376800
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30622) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML

#7376584
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31686) - you deserved it (2366)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

#7375995
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7590) - you deserved it (35968)

On 01/16/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by lollerskate (woman) - United States (Texas)

 Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

#7374714
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (14080)

On 01/16/2010 at 7:22am - love - by Desperate_measures (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML

#7373793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (2960)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:10am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

#7372810
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (25855)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:22am - money - by bankergirl (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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