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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

#7394843
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (5031)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:20am - love - by notpregnant (woman) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (5954)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

#7390490
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5748) - you deserved it (67377)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:25am - misc - by ow (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

#7389576
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11307) - you deserved it (26305)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:43pm - misc - by Stumble (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13195) - you deserved it (27118)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

#7380973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (4768)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:36pm - animals - by riptoofie (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67065) - you deserved it (7626)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML

#7380443
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (42066)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by kikinemo (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37310) - you deserved it (3518)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML

#7378425
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (7236)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:46pm - animals - by life_sucks (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

#7376800
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (4023)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I rang my dad to tell him and my half-sister that I'm finally engaged. I then asked my half-sister to tell my stepmother. Still on speaker, I heard her run upstairs and pass the good news on. My stepmother responded with 'Cery who?', followed by 'So what? I can't stand her'. I'm Cery. FML

#7376584
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31498) - you deserved it (2353)

On 01/16/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by ThatCery (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, my smoke alarm went off. In a frenzy, I called 9-1-1 and exited my house. Several minutes later a fire truck showed up. After investigating, one of the firemen informed me I needed to change the batteries in my smoke alarm. FML

#7375995
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7589) - you deserved it (35967)

On 01/16/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by lollerskate (woman) - United States (Texas)



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