Today, I had to go to counselling as my mother thinks I have an eating disorder. All because I didn't want to eat the crap supermarket lasagna she bought for $2. FML

by dimtsis / 07/28/2010 at 9:24pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said we’d go pick up the ring tomorrow. Then he asked to borrow $40 to get it out of pawn. He pawned it when his ex gave it back to him. FML

by 34_22_34 / 07/28/2010 at 3:27pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

by idgit42 / 07/27/2010 at 6:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Money

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

by aero00 / 07/27/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

by nu_ravers_101 / 07/27/2010 at 9:56am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

by mauimango7 / 07/27/2010 at 6:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he came in, he looked me up and down and told me, "You look like my mother." Thanks. FML

by dumped / 07/26/2010 at 7:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards, he clarified his statement. I was the love of his life, because I was in his life at that moment. FML

by robm / 07/26/2010 at 4:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a surprise call from LA Fitness saying I've been signed up for a two week pass. It's from my boyfriend. Didn't see this one coming. FML

by Andiii / 07/26/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

by cameltoeyourface / 07/25/2010 at 8:42pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

by anon / 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

by animelover / 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I tried to open the research paper I've been working on for the past month, only to discover that the entire file is permanently lost and can't be recovered. This is not the first time this has happened to this paper. FML

by ScienceFail / 07/25/2010 at 3:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous