Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML

#7451202
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21606) - you deserved it (4637)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by wasntworththedrive (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (6128)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

#7449999
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (13516)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was fired from my job. The reason? My boss didn't feel comfortable paying his son's girlfriend. FML

#7449785
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (3553)

On 01/20/2010 at 12:09am - love - by mysterygurll1234567 (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

#7447854
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13113) - you deserved it (24260)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out the antibiotics I'm taking can cause you to vomit unexpectedly. In the car. While driving. To work. FML

#7437528
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28027) - you deserved it (2813)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:25pm - health - by addie19 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

#7434698
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (6568)

On 01/19/2010 at 9:17am - love - by Sl3vin (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got a missed call from a job that I really really want. I completely forgot that my answer machine message was a ridiculous and rude poem that I recorded previously when I was drunk. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting a call back. FML

#7433916
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6444) - you deserved it (37730)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:51am - work - by Stilljobless (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

#7432728
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (4457)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

#7431975
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36524) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/19/2010 at 1:44am - work - by StillHurt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30461) - you deserved it (6248)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

#7426309
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (4465)

On 01/18/2010 at 9:06pm - love - by pictureperfect678 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: