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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

#7518745
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (3272)

On 01/23/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

#7518203
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (3241)

On 01/23/2010 at 10:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML

#7517323
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20214) - you deserved it (2354)

On 01/23/2010 at 7:21am - intimacy - by T.C (woman) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML

#7516892
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10980) - you deserved it (36174)

On 01/23/2010 at 5:27am - love - by SINGLE (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating an icecream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

#7516271
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (7725)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:38am - love - by weirdlove (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15301) - you deserved it (43592)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got out of the hospital for the second time in a week. The first time was for a seizure that my cat induced by tripping me over. The second was to get stitches from the Doberman that had decided to take over my front yard while I was gone. Apparently I was intruding. FML

#7512999
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (2294)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:13am - health - by estallidos (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9412) - you deserved it (38741)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while grooming my horse, a spider crawled onto my ear. As if that was bad enough, I'm extremely arachnophobic, so I shrieked out of habit, which in turn caused my horse to freak out and kick me. FML

Today, I was lying on the couch after having surgery on my stomach. My best friend and my mom thought that laughter would be the best medicine. Due to their medicine, I ripped out half my stitches. FML

#7502542
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32056) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/22/2010 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ran 5 miles to catch the bus I take to university after missing my connection. When I got to the bus stop, I realized I had left my U-Pass on my desk at home. On top of the assignment that was due. FML

#7493259
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25425) - you deserved it (8131)

On 01/22/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by noooooo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

#7492658
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7425) - you deserved it (40581)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:37am - work - by HotelClerk (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my godmother informed me that the rule of thumb my ex had used for our relationship during a year of cohabitation was taken directly from a Cesar Millan book on "How to train dogs." FML

#7492319
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21836) - you deserved it (3165)

On 01/22/2010 at 1:17am - love - by housebroken (woman) - United States (Florida)



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