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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (38172)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me for a girl he's known for less than 72 hours. Why? He wanted someone pure. I lost my virginity to him five years ago. FML

#6300717
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41392) - you deserved it (3840)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by unengaged (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

#6300259
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (6484)

On 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm - misc - by SpeakerPhone (woman) - France (Alsace)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8965) - you deserved it (28397)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my Dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter over reacted." FML

#6298520
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33270) - you deserved it (3195)

On 11/14/2009 at 7:35am - misc - by Kassiopia (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28853) - you deserved it (2980)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (5996)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

#6293828
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43962) - you deserved it (2558)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was talking to my fellow coworker about how nervous I was about sleeping with this guy I really liked. She's been constantly giving me advice about him for months, but today she said "Oh don't worry, he isn't that good in bed anyway." FML

#6293770
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20170) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by taurus05 (woman) - United States

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (5375)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my baby daughter when an older woman came up to me. She glared and said, "You know, if you kids learned how to keep your legs closed, you wouldn't be a mother at 16." I'm 25. FML

#6288438
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37815) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/13/2009 at 3:26pm - kids - by notateen (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40666) - you deserved it (5258)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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