Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

by RachelVanLannen9 / 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I made my mom a mix CD for her car. It took me ages to find just the right songs that would be perfect for her. When I played it for her in the car, she took it out and threw it out of the window. FML

by lovelikewoe / 07/10/2010 at 9:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

by Ecce / 07/10/2010 at 8:03am / United Kingdom (London) / Money

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

by whatheffers / 07/07/2010 at 12:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (Iowa) / Money

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

by SOMAgirl / 07/06/2010 at 5:16am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend went to the beach. His parents relentlessly tried to hook him with other girls, all the while knowing that we're dating. Their reasoning is that I'm not a 'real girlfriend.' FML

by metalmusic / 07/05/2010 at 1:37am / United States / Love

Today, my friend told me I'm not welcome in her house anymore. I've spent the last two months painting and doing it up for her, because she's pregnant and couldn't herself. I just finished the job. FML

by Sapphirlinda / 07/03/2010 at 7:25pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

by ZittyMii / 07/03/2010 at 3:52pm / United States (Colorado) / Geek

Today, I went out with my boyfriend and thought I'd wear two bras under my singlet-top to make my chest look bigger. Upon leaving Target, one of the security guards noticed the extra straps and accused me of shoplifting. I had to spend the next 20 minutes explaining the situation to security. FML

by embarrassed / 07/03/2010 at 3:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous