Today, my boyfriend was having a really bad day, so I decided to call him and try to calm him down. At one point, I thought it would be sweet to sing him a song since he claimed to love my voice. Before I could get half way through, he told me to shut up because I was getting on his nerves and just making things worse. FML

by sXeQueen / 03/13/2010 at 10:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I went to IHOP for breakfast. As we were leaving, I realized a little girl took my Hello Kitty hairclip. For the next 5 minutes, I fought with an 8 year-old for a hairclip. She won. FML

by googoogaga / 03/13/2010 at 10:13am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 4:17am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

by loki / 03/13/2010 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I was on a first date. When the bill came, he refused to pay for my $6 salad. I had to go ATM-hunting to pay for my $6 salad. FML

by wolfwolfy / 03/13/2010 at 2:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

by nerdygirl101 / 03/13/2010 at 12:27am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

by Brinty / 03/13/2010 at 12:18am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

by botharebad / 03/13/2010 at 12:14am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

by ams / 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex wife. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United Kingdom (Swansea) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2010 at 11:55am / United States (Maine) / Love