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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

#6226609
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13710) - you deserved it (33290)

On 11/09/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Kirta (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13252) - you deserved it (47596)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

#6225204
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30516) - you deserved it (2797)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:24am - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

#6224810
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (3378)

On 11/09/2009 at 4:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37242) - you deserved it (6029)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (20337)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my friend uses pictures of me to motivate her to work out. They are accompanied by sayings such as "you don't want to turn out like this." FML

#6222745
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (5034)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

#6222212
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26333) - you deserved it (4728)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:05am - love - by alltern8ive (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (2792)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years told me he had feelings for someone else. He also told me he wanted to continue dating me until things progressed further with the other woman. FML

#6217928
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38243) - you deserved it (2198)

On 11/08/2009 at 8:27pm - love - by toughlove (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I fell down a set of stairs while going into my basement. With a horrible pain in my left leg, I called out to my boyfriend to help me. Apparently a commercial about grass was more important. FML

#6215205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (3367)

On 11/08/2009 at 5:38pm - health - by Elizabeh (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

#6213926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/08/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by grossedout (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (14079)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)



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