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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML

#6029575
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (4227)

On 10/27/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by ilovemybrother (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was reaching over to give me a hug for no reason. I said "Aww, You're sweet! I love you too!" He looked confused and said, "That's great, but I was reaching for the remote." FML

#6026948
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28415) - you deserved it (6079)

On 10/27/2009 at 5:57pm - love - by Queen_of_Night (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my tax return. I was really excited. Turns out the government does take the time to send out a tax return for $1.36. FML

#6025394
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (3559)

On 10/27/2009 at 4:10pm - money - by nicolo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6024374
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (4129)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

#6024330
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28426) - you deserved it (7293)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:46pm - health - by opposableouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party. But when I went in, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

#6023107
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25910) - you deserved it (6711)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:43pm - work - by yper (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

#6021745
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by WasFeelingGood (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

#6020762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32180) - you deserved it (5045)

On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

#6019106
134 comments

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

#6017805
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9074) - you deserved it (26796)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

#6017534
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (1626)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:04am - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

#6016625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (2672)

On 10/26/2009 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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