Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

by AlexaSt2611 / 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm / Paraguay (Central) / Intimacy

Today, I got a text from my boyfriend whilst on the train home from spending the weekend with him at his Grandparents house. It said 'Gran says to tell you that the bin beside the toilet is actually for storing spare shampoos and tooth brushes, so could you not put your tampons in it next time?' FML

by DyingOfShame / 08/24/2010 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Love

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because of an argument about a printer. FML

by T.T / 08/24/2010 at 4:19am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

by chewybarseventy / 08/24/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at my job as a cashier, checking out an elderly woman's groceries. She was very nice, and we chatted for a couple minutes. Once she had paid, she leaned close to me and said, very politely, "I'm so so sorry that I mistook you for a girl at first, young man." I AM a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2010 at 1:52am / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

by DormHater / 08/23/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

by lizardface / 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

by Sara1990 / 08/23/2010 at 7:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2010 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband just told me that he no longer loves me but keeps me around to handle his finances. FML

by Lace / 08/23/2010 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my loving boyfriend told me that he wanted to go to the cinema with the girl he loves. The other girl he loves, but don't worry it's "not" a date. FML

by Squishy / 08/22/2010 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Love

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

by inseriouspain / 08/22/2010 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Health