Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

by Lana / 07/20/2010 at 8:43am / Austria (Wien) / Work

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

by thanksmom / 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my husband fell asleep for two hours at a dinner party. We were the hosts. FML

by wideawake / 07/19/2010 at 4:34am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I found out what's worse than having the "sex talk" with your parents: having the "sex talk" with your boyfriend, when he's 23, right before you were supposed to have sex. FML

by Bellagirl / 07/19/2010 at 3:10am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that there's nothing quite like coming downstairs in a t-shirt and panties, only to discover your fiancé has a bunch of his friends over. FML

by LaneyyenaL / 07/19/2010 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

by 4fucksake / 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Intimacy

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

by holly / 07/18/2010 at 10:18am / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

by lalala / 07/18/2010 at 12:02am / Philippines (Manila) / Health

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 4:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

by killer / 07/17/2010 at 10:54am / United States (Florida) / Animals