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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend asked me why I have "crotch acne". When I attempted to explain that I have razor bumps from shaving, he got mad and said I was lying and insecure about my obvious facial and bodily acne problem. FML

#6772428
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32599) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/16/2009 at 12:15am - health - by RazorBumps (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (2249)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31775) - you deserved it (7387)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML

#6768008
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7894) - you deserved it (25559)

On 12/15/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by BlueMouth (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

#6765216
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (7970)

On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (3023)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was excited when I saw a missed call. It wasn't my ex-boyfriend finally willing to talk, it was the creepy guy I met on the bus in November who I haven't seen since but has written me poetry. FML

#6761067
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

#6760578
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (2900)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Scat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

#6758302
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29549) - you deserved it (5674)

On 12/14/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked "Are those your grand-children?" I'm in my 40's. FML

#6755152
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (2439)

On 12/14/2009 at 8:30pm - work - by Shalamar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9917) - you deserved it (60782)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25601) - you deserved it (10079)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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