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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (8706)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37841) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

#6532310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29377) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I posted a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook. He untagged himself. FML

#6530048
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (18498)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:17am - love - by destiny147 (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28517) - you deserved it (13077)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36442) - you deserved it (2906)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (2782)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom sat on a pencil and started bleeding. She then made me clean the wound on her butt and put ointment on it. FML

#6522437
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31626) - you deserved it (4334)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

#6521538
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44183) - you deserved it (4765)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was lying in bed minding my own business when my mom entered the room. I was proposed to a few weeks ago by my boyfriend, and my mom came in to tell me that my boyfriend's mom was on the phone. Turns out, he stole the engagement ring from her drawer. FML

#6517359
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:52pm - love - by violet (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML

#6512953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (3421)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML

#6510557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11213) - you deserved it (37361)

On 11/29/2009 at 9:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's decided, I'm going on diet. For real. But I said that yesterday. And the day before. FML

#6510175
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8528) - you deserved it (51758)

On 11/29/2009 at 8:02am - health - by Numnum (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)



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