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Today, my window fell out of the wall, landed on my head, and shattered. I waited 6 hours to get 23 stitches in the emergency room. When I got home, I found a bill. I owe my landlord $130 to replace the window. They won't fix it until I pay up. FML

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

#7662732
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - health - by sixxie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

#7662711
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7179) - you deserved it (29212)

On 01/29/2010 at 12:10am - work - by ke (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

#7642082
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31160) - you deserved it (3687)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:55pm - kids - by jmitch1209 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

#7638803
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (10502)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I found out a friend of mine likes me. It wasn't by a cute gesture like a sweet little note, or a beautiful heartfelt confession like you might expect. He sprang at my boyfriend and choked him (while I strained to pull him off). Right during the middle of our 60+ student populated class. FML

#7635822
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (2911)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36106) - you deserved it (6916)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18630) - you deserved it (5149)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

#7621878
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5647) - you deserved it (47456)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Glutton (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

#7619521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (8329)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm - health - by fuuuuck (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

#7614301
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40118) - you deserved it (7961)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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