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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a UTI and the doctor said the medicine can sometimes make you leak a little. "Leak a little" apparently translates into peeing all over myself, my boyfriend, and his bed while we were sleeping. The doctor also said this medicine can stain your urine a beautiful, bright orange color. FML

#5769325
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (2602)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (107406)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant. As I was leaving, I get a text from the birthday girl's boyfriend saying that it was cancelled. Hungry, I decided to go to that particular restaurant anyway. Turns out the party wasn't cancelled. Half the party just didn't want me there. FML

#5768887
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (3785)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

#5763126
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26713) - you deserved it (2219)

On 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by screwed.over (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (41743)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML

#5761778
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (5388)

On 10/10/2009 at 5:53pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

#5759599
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (17072)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

#5759399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (5249)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML

#5758309
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (2525)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (4270)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13966) - you deserved it (31518)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

#5744941
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36233) - you deserved it (2376)

On 10/09/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned that the excessive groin sweating I've been trying to deal with for weeks isn't groin sweating. It's a slow and steady stream of urine that I have no control over. FML

#5743316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47108) - you deserved it (3244)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:25pm - health - by lizzzie (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



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