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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (8166)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

#6648301
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (3606)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:43am - misc - by Fluory (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the weekly coffee talks my husband was having with his ex-girlfriend stopped involving coffee about 2 years ago. FML

#6647027
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32433) - you deserved it (18810)

On 12/07/2009 at 5:33am - love - by Jane (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37491) - you deserved it (2592)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

#6644248
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9276) - you deserved it (38782)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 year old son asked me to explain how he was born. After I told him I had a C-Section, he went to school and told everyone he was born at sea. I found out when the teacher called me. FML

#6643821
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (6184)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:07am - kids - by proudparent (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

#6641672
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9206) - you deserved it (31832)

On 12/06/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40321) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

#6636501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37104) - you deserved it (3116)

On 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9616) - you deserved it (24569)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see for two hours. FML

#6631791
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (3652)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:03am - health - by lol (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I found out my diet and exercise plan wasn't nearly as effective when it comes to weight loss as I had originally thought. It turns out what really accounts for all the weight I've been losing is tape worms. FML

#6630317
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31439) - you deserved it (2837)

On 12/06/2009 at 4:16am - health - by wormsick (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML

#6629569
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (2865)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by virginmary (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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