Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me in the parking lot right before a baseball game, then convinced me to still go to the game in tears. After the game, we were walking back to the car and he goes, "so, how about some break up lovin'?" FML

#4516165
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55585) - you deserved it (8162)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - love - by ish (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (6622)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

#4507995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33641) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33404) - you deserved it (76073)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42875) - you deserved it (11512)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my first facebook friend request in 4 months. I also got a message in my inbox. The message said: "Sorry, I thought you were someone else. Just ignore my friend request." FML

#4501015
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (6773)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by Jamie (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6129) - you deserved it (53255)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

#4499384
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64065) - you deserved it (7208)

On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my first day at a new school. I pulled into the parking lot and saw this really cute guy. I was checking him out in my rear view mirror. When I looked ahead, there was something in the road, so I swirved real hard and took down an entire wooden fence. That something was a plastic bag. FML

#4497607
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7527) - you deserved it (43408)

On 08/13/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by Distracted (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML

#4491139
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:32am - kids - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

#4486771
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33308) - you deserved it (5170)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

#4486417
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34467) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/12/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

#4484450
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8994) - you deserved it (35206)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by librarygirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: