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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38954) - you deserved it (3588)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 months has been faking his southern accent. FML

#6575339
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (8495)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:15pm - love - by wooed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (4535)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

#6572169
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44291) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/02/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my daughter's guinea pig got stuck behind the wardrobe, squeaking its head off. I tried pulling the wardrobe towards me to free him, but couldn't take the weight of it all, so it fell over, smashing the TV. The guinea pig is fine. FML

#6568634
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (6775)

On 12/02/2009 at 2:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML

#6567661
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9965) - you deserved it (40027)

On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36287) - you deserved it (5341)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47111) - you deserved it (3329)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

#6557406
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34054) - you deserved it (4557)

On 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm - work - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

#6550671
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (31102)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:25pm - work - by Jen (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was the only employee at a video store where I work when it got robbed. After crying, shaking and spending two hours and dealing with the police, my boss called and told me it was good experience and I would know what to do next time, then made me finish my shift, the night shift, alone. FML

#6550040
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41079) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/01/2009 at 11:17am - work - by HP_22 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I cleaned out my husband's drawer. He had kept every love letter I wrote him for the past 7 years. I smiled, struck by how romantic he was. My bliss was short-lived as I realized that he had also kept every single love letter his other lovers wrote him while we were married. FML

#6547469
89 comments

Today, after reading a very emotional article about always letting your loved ones know how much you love them in case it's your last time seeing them, I went to my mom and told her how much I loved her and how thankful I was for everything. Her reply? "Shut up kid, Vince Vaughn is on Ellen". FML

#6546127
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28895) - you deserved it (4038)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by ilovemom (woman) - Costa Rica (Heredia)



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