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Today, I told my mother that, after years of cheating and abuse, I'm finally getting a divorce. Her reaction was deep concern that my husband might not want to "be friends" with the rest of the family any more. FML

#21515551
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (1283)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:25am - love - by Really (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

#21515486
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (2190)

On 01/15/2016 at 5:56am - kids - by DatAss (woman) -

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

#21515416
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23245) - you deserved it (1953)

On 01/14/2016 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

#21515142
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (1684)

On 01/14/2016 at 10:05am - kids - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I almost died. My friends dragged me unconcious, hypothermic and half-drowned out of the sea. A helicopter took me to the hospital where they brought me back to life. My family's reaction? "You aren't dying so we don't have to come to the hospital." They wouldn't even bring me clothes. FML

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (17668)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I learned how it feels to sneeze after having major spinal surgery when the pain medication has almost completely worn off. FML

#21514699
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23276) - you deserved it (1483)

On 01/13/2016 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML

#21514669
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24339) - you deserved it (1545)

On 01/13/2016 at 8:56am - love - by Angel (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML

#21514655
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22509) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:15am - money - by brokeandcardless (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiance and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML

#21514623
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (1433)

On 01/13/2016 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

#21514487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (1497)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm - misc - by Mellamononeyobiz (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mom informed me she got married two weeks ago. Hard to congratulate her when this is her eighth husband. FML

#21514447
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20642) - you deserved it (1314)

On 01/12/2016 at 7:16pm - love - by TabbyCat87 (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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