Today, my sister pointed out a weird black mass underneath the lace of my dress. Perplexed, I looked down to inspect further and discover a wasp, under my boobs, attempting to build a nest. FML

by Seeyounarabish / 07/10/2016 at 11:06pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

by Not his SunShine anymore / 07/10/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

by abygalee / 07/10/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought my car was overheating. I then thought it was wise to put my hand close to my muffler to feel the heat. Needless to say, I stuck my entire hand on my muffler then had to drive around with the only cold thing in my car. A cold beer from my cooler. Yes, I got pulled over. FML

by leaannec30 / 07/10/2016 at 2:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML

by Dlpnlvr85 / 07/10/2016 at 2:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer asked if we stocked gluten-free water. Then she got pissed when I laughed at what I thought was her joke. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2016 at 10:23am / Work

Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML

by pamcakes / 07/09/2016 at 1:14pm / Animals

Today, I dyed my hair for the first time. It turned out great, and I couldn't wait to show it off during my night out with my friends. Everyone was so shocked or disgusted, I ended up claiming I lost a bet. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 12:29pm / Miscellaneous

Today, just like the past 2 weeks, I'm so broke that I only got to eat dinner because I went on a first date with a guy from Tinder. FML

by broke / 07/09/2016 at 3:36am / Money

Today, my husband finally broke our two-month dry spell. I don't know what's more depressing: the fact that it had been two months or that he's horrible at sex. FML

by LoveLost / 07/08/2016 at 10:57pm / Intimacy

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

by samaris / 07/08/2016 at 5:19pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 2:47pm / Kids

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

by mu5icadd1ct / 07/08/2016 at 9:22am / Miscellaneous