Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109329) - you deserved it (5097)
On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (16312)
On 06/02/2009 at 11:33am - animals - by dumb (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75184) - you deserved it (2656)
On 06/02/2009 at 8:06am - love - by ThanksMom (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year finally told me he loved me. This revelation was quickly followed by "at least, I think this is how people feel when they say that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (3573)
On 06/02/2009 at 7:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40022) - you deserved it (16589)
On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37465) - you deserved it (2759)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by sierraisfucked (woman) - United States
Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (16773)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I got a call from an ad agency offering me a job. I was so excited, because I've been looking for work for a few months now and really wanted to work for them. An hour later, they called apologizing, because they'd made a mistake and offered the job to the wrong person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43699) - you deserved it (1843)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:05am - work - by smidge (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24595) - you deserved it (48785)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49312) - you deserved it (24626)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31299) - you deserved it (49263)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10663) - you deserved it (46834)
On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (2613)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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