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Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

#21379106
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (362) - you deserved it (2971)

On 03/21/2015 at 8:07pm - misc - by van no gough (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (3546)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (3407)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (3901)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (59)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I met the perfect guy. He's sweet, funny, charming, a great kisser - the whole package. The downside? He has the same exact name as my father, last name and all. I can't kiss him without thinking of my dad. FML

#21378117
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (3528)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML

#21378005
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30409) - you deserved it (2044)

On 03/19/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by Hm (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had to work a double shift after my relief called in "sick" just so he could go to a party. FML

#21377747
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (2206)

On 03/19/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by SleepIsForTheWeak (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

#21377727
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27093) - you deserved it (2480)

On 03/19/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33494) - you deserved it (5081)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

#21377041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (2552)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML



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