Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I told my boyfriend he's the only good thing left in my life. That's not a healthy relationship dynamic, he said, and ended up breaking up with me. FML

#21516923
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19683) - you deserved it (3114)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:59am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in the country I just moved to. Guess I don't speak the language as well as I thought. FML

#21516917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (2704)

On 01/19/2016 at 9:37am - misc - by hrmpf (woman) - Germany (Bremen)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

#21516882
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19254) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/19/2016 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML

#21516555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (1960)

On 01/18/2016 at 10:16am - money - by logic (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was knocked unconscious by the 10 year-old I was babysitting because it was his younger sister's bedtime and he didn't want her to go. When I came to, their mother was screaming at me for sleeping on the job. In the middle of the kitchen floor. I lost a job and gained a killer headache. FML

#21516384
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (1365)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:48pm - kids - by kids shouldnt have hard sports equipment (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, whilst in church, my brother's Sunday school teacher asked him what he loved to drink, to which he replied, "Beer." We have no idea why he said that, and the church is still talking to my parents. FML

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

#21516140
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20954) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/17/2016 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24970) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML

#21515864
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/16/2016 at 10:00am - kids - by off-balance (woman) - Finland

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (3618)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

#21515773
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (1142)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: