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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (18427)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (36387)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
85 comments

Today, I was short on money for bills, so I pulled out my alto saxophone, knowing that no matter how much I loved it, I'd be able pay my rent with the money. As I pulled it out of its case, the neck strap broke and I dropped it, breaking the bell beyond repair. Now I'm poor AND depressed. FML

#21310455
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (3231)

On 12/02/2014 at 11:05pm - misc - by clumsyandpoor (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (6132)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31371) - you deserved it (3484)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32485) - you deserved it (4309)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32290) - you deserved it (2079)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (4975)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)



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