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Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27020) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

#21354690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (5688)

On 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm - misc - by ahhhhhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend threw a fit because I "still" live with my mother at age 30. I bought her an apartment in my building and hired a live-in nurse because she is senile and permanently bedridden. FML

#21354679
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33056) - you deserved it (2198)

On 02/12/2015 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML

#21354210
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32825) - you deserved it (6056)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm - work - by titsmcgee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (3306)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (3106)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my new boyfriend with whom I'm completely smitten called me and told me he had an early Valentine's Day gift for me. Gonorrhea. FML

#21353835
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33486) - you deserved it (4004)

On 02/11/2015 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Yupppp. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31585) - you deserved it (3249)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

#21353006
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (2621)

On 02/09/2015 at 9:32pm - misc - by LunaCrow (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43055) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -



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Friday 27 February 2015

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