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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (11469)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (3156)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (2024)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

#21426197
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/14/2015 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

#21425930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (2164)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm - misc - by lulumars (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (6215)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

#21425446
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21880) - you deserved it (2109)

On 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by pantsareathing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29253) - you deserved it (1959)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (4144)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (2035)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder". That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML

#21424908
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2072)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:02am - misc - by Jules7594 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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