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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

#21397047
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27578) - you deserved it (3890)

On 04/20/2015 at 7:55pm - kids - by ChildFree (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (1864)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (3432)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

#21396154
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

#21395798
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (4094)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (10050)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (5037)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28227) - you deserved it (2196)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (2394)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (1594)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I received a terrible grade for an essay I worked really hard on. I had two friends, one being an English major, check it over. However, apparently I "clearly didn't use spellcheck" on this essay just like the last one I submitted to her. FML

#21394988
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (5305)

On 04/16/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by shaifox96 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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