Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (1830)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25495) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26225) - you deserved it (2296)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML

#21444629
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (1874)

On 07/20/2015 at 6:01pm - misc - by I did them anyway (woman) - New Zealand

Today, a customer wanted corporate's number because we aren't allowed to sell pies after midnight. After a drug-fuelled cuss-storm, she punched me in the face through the open window and peeled out of drive-thru like a bat out of hell. FML

#21444376
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (1626)

On 07/20/2015 at 4:21am - work - by TheDrugsAreStrongWithThisOne (woman) - United States

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (3261)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

#21444252
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24457) - you deserved it (1684)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by creepedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

#21444043
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2253)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (2745)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

#21443580
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (2776)

On 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm - kids - by ddhaley1 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

#21443362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (8710)

On 07/18/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by supersmashpika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: