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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34807) - you deserved it (7641)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37981) - you deserved it (3226)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked for time off from work for my wedding and honeymoon. A grand total of three days. My boss made a face like he'd sucked on rancid toes and asked me if I was stupid. Awesome. FML

#21237232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (2726)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:15am - work - by BrokeBride (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

#21236595
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32025) - you deserved it (5654)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (2756)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was walking to a job interview. I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground. Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses. I couldn't get it out in time for the interview. FML

#21234860
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (43607)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

#21234823
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (3985)

On 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43870) - you deserved it (5357)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

#21234068
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32502) - you deserved it (8369)

On 08/10/2014 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

#21234002
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (6030)

On 08/10/2014 at 12:42pm - love - by painedandpissed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41675) - you deserved it (3757)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23180) - you deserved it (35531)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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