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Today, my son was crying because he's afraid he might get Ebola. We live in Maine, and he's 16. FML

Today, I and a coworker got bitched out and suspended by our boss after our computers got infected with a weird porn virus. It soon turned out the virus had come from our boss' infected memory stick. Did he apologize? No. Is our suspension still in force? Yes. FML

#21275140
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36816) - you deserved it (2456)

On 10/10/2014 at 6:34pm - work - by shatfjord (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML

#21275066
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (14216)

On 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried a soup sample at a supermarket. An employee then came over and started asking me questions about how I got the cup for the sample, telling me it wasn't store policy to just give out sample cups. I was so stressed that I broke down crying in the middle of the supermarket. FML

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I noticed he looked uncomfortable. When I asked what was wrong, he asked when the last time I shaved was. I answered, "I shaved my legs this morning." He shook his head and said, "No, I meant your face." FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33098) - you deserved it (5049)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28998) - you deserved it (3149)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33644) - you deserved it (3172)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

#21273773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (2266)

On 10/08/2014 at 8:30pm - work - by xRyu (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (3595)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

#21273246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28787) - you deserved it (4488)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm - misc - by waternixie (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML

#21273209
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28090) - you deserved it (2314)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you deserved it (9153)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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