Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

#21300362
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (5180)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

#21299790
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (4274)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by omgdesdes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I compared our No Shave November body hair. This is how I found out that my legs are hairier than his. FML

#21299788
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (6875)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

#21299716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (5111)

On 11/15/2014 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Slow_Walker (woman) - Georgia (Dushet'is Raioni)

Today, I have an Army fitness test. I was worried I'd cramp up during the last mile of the run, so I drank a large amount of water in preparation. I later woke up in the very small barracks that I share with three other people, soaking in a puddle of my own piss. FML

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

#21299619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (4172)

On 11/15/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by back to cock-hunting (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a customer limped over to me in one of the dishwasher aisles and asked if we sold dishwashers. I said yes and pointed at all the dishwashers. He looked around for a couple of seconds, belched, then said "Oh... right!" and walked off. No commission for me, then. FML

#21299572
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (3459)

On 11/15/2014 at 1:20pm - work - by ChimerV (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28373) - you deserved it (2322)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

#21299125
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (2532)

On 11/14/2014 at 7:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26982) - you deserved it (4274)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

#21298459
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27337) - you deserved it (5484)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:26pm - misc - by HoobidibooFox (woman) - United Kingdom (Dudley)

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

#21298300
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (2581)

On 11/13/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by FuglyBetty (woman) - Norway (Aust-Agder)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: