Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML

#21492676
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2087)

On 11/15/2015 at 1:06am - work - by buses suck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got pissed off and is now sulking, all because I didn't make a huge deal out of our 1-month "anniversary". FML

#21492656
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (3463)

On 11/14/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I remembered that the concert I bought tickets for over a month in advance was yesterday. FML

#21492422
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (11320)

On 11/14/2015 at 11:23am - misc - by xloverin (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

#21492350
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (1655)

On 11/14/2015 at 4:12am - health - by Darth Spasticus (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

#21492333
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (2173)

On 11/14/2015 at 2:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

#21492063
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29098) - you deserved it (2042)

On 11/13/2015 at 10:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML

#21491942
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/13/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by fryebaby623 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

#21491750
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (1536)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:21pm - health - by Nora (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

#21491595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27925) - you deserved it (2974)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:09am - intimacy - by notyourmummy (woman) - United Kingdom (Isle of Wight)

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

#21491590
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (1742)

On 11/12/2015 at 3:38am - misc - by Its_Sinon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

#21491506
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21382) - you deserved it (1366)

On 11/11/2015 at 11:11pm - misc - by Potato_Lord (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: