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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45399) - you deserved it (5103)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42517) - you deserved it (4709)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40265) - you deserved it (3455)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

#21186709
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40737) - you deserved it (5010)

On 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm - love - by doubleCoupon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

#21186073
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (5129)

On 06/24/2014 at 12:35am - love - by over prtective father (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (5867)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46548) - you deserved it (5307)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML

#21185673
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35719) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40213) - you deserved it (4848)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44137) - you deserved it (13775)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42526) - you deserved it (8785)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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