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Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

#21359143
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30449) - you deserved it (2543)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Vercsi (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was at a family gathering with my boyfriend. Jokingly, my grandmother swatted my butt to get me to move. Out of habit, I moaned quite loudly. FML

#21358985
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155) - you deserved it (31674)

On 02/19/2015 at 12:45am - intimacy - by heymacie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

#21358633
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31778) - you deserved it (2065)

On 02/18/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by breyn (woman) - United States

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

#21358332
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29376) - you deserved it (2274)

On 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by whateven333 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (3111)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

#21358017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27315) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/17/2015 at 1:23pm - misc - by trolls have hit the gutters (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14971) - you deserved it (34216)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41547) - you deserved it (2324)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33694) - you deserved it (2809)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (3194)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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