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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22581) - you deserved it (3931)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (3186)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27674) - you deserved it (8347)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (2345)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (2646)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (2572)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (3473)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (6730)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2307)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was asked by a total stranger if I had Tourettes. This is the third time this has happened to me. FML

#21342680
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (5002)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:39am - misc - by Evra (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (4312)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister got her retouched wedding photos. Apparently one of the things she had the professional do was edit me out of them. FML

#21341567
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (2238)

On 01/21/2015 at 11:26am - misc - by kana__ (woman) - Japan

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39946) - you deserved it (2225)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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