Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I called my boss to ask if my paycheck had been deposited yet. He said no, that my grandmother came in to work and picked it up. Confused, I called her. She is holding it ransom until I start calling home every day. I do, but she gets so drunk, she doesn't remember. FML

#21493320
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (1808)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by kitkat1740 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML

#21493254
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:39pm - work - by ScreweD- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML

#21492676
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2087)

On 11/15/2015 at 1:06am - work - by buses suck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got pissed off and is now sulking, all because I didn't make a huge deal out of our 1-month "anniversary". FML

#21492656
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/14/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I remembered that the concert I bought tickets for over a month in advance was yesterday. FML

#21492422
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21878) - you deserved it (11320)

On 11/14/2015 at 11:23am - misc - by xloverin (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

#21492350
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (1649)

On 11/14/2015 at 4:12am - health - by Darth Spasticus (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the man of my dreams turned out to be the worst kisser I've ever encountered. I now have a huge hickey on my chin to remember the experience by. FML

#21492333
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21308) - you deserved it (2169)

On 11/14/2015 at 2:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I opened up to my best friend about my depression. Her response: "If you're so depressed, why don't you just kill yourself?" FML

#21492063
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (2042)

On 11/13/2015 at 10:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was so tired when I got home from work, I took off my bra without removing my shirt which I've done so often it is second nature. I successfully removed the bra, then snagged the clasp on a loose shirt thread, causing my bra to take on a life of its own and slap me in the face. FML

#21491942
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20872) - you deserved it (3042)

On 11/13/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by fryebaby623 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

#21491750
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25382) - you deserved it (1536)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:21pm - health - by Nora (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

#21491595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (2974)

On 11/12/2015 at 4:09am - intimacy - by notyourmummy (woman) - United Kingdom (Isle of Wight)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: