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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

#21186709
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (5010)

On 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm - love - by doubleCoupon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

#21186073
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (5127)

On 06/24/2014 at 12:35am - love - by over prtective father (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43703) - you deserved it (5865)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

#21185679
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (5307)

On 06/23/2014 at 7:13pm - kids - by Anon (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML

#21185673
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35710) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (4848)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44054) - you deserved it (13765)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42521) - you deserved it (8782)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50987) - you deserved it (5906)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (8267)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (5094)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45905) - you deserved it (7662)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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