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Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML

#21132298
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (8810)

On 05/06/2014 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40287) - you deserved it (4061)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

#21130777
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/04/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44205) - you deserved it (4244)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

#21129433
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35821) - you deserved it (6276)

On 05/03/2014 at 6:38am - health - by cocacola999 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I pulled up next to a lady who was trying to text, smoke, and drive. My brother said that she was probably going to cause an accident. He was right. At the next light she hit us. She then yelled that I purposely caused the accident because, "that's how teenagers are". FML

#21129304
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (2628)

On 05/03/2014 at 1:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37162) - you deserved it (2823)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I had an ingrown toenail cut out, and the pain medication I received does not actually help with the pain. Instead, it makes me high, which results in me losing balance and slamming my injured toe into objects and then getting sick from that new pain. FML

#21128289
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40268) - you deserved it (3780)

On 05/01/2014 at 8:23pm - health - by pained (woman) - United States

Today, I had to once again lie to a customer about why I was the only one manning the shop, saying that they must have run out for lunch - my coworkers were too busy getting stoned in their cars to do their job. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

#21128139
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35067) - you deserved it (5909)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by GAGirl1 (woman) - United States

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (33103)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47292) - you deserved it (3874)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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