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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

#21438347
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (3931)

On 07/08/2015 at 3:04am - animals - by coolcat10156 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future". even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML

#21438331
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (1629)

On 07/08/2015 at 2:17am - misc - by WayToGoDaddyHo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with a broken finger, all because I beat my little brother in a Wii game. He ran over and twisted my finger, saying, "Now how are you going to beat me, cunt?" FML

#21437701
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:59pm - kids - by BlazefireSaber (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (5424)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML

#21437540
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (1829)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:51pm - health - by sydmarie98 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

#21436269
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27244) - you deserved it (1604)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:18am - misc - by Zizi (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (2730)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (4290)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (3248)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24518) - you deserved it (2930)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

#21435904
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2467)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML

#21435764
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26677) - you deserved it (2156)

On 07/03/2015 at 6:30am - misc - by NeedMoreFriends (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)



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