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Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (3839)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, my boss bitched me out on the sales floor for a good 10 minutes, because I wasn't "smiling the right way" for our customers. FML

#21062398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (3187)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:22pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (5528)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46485) - you deserved it (6257)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (6695)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

#21060497
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44991) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:57pm - love - by jacey chreyest (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

#21060455
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40754) - you deserved it (6951)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:23pm - love - by fuck you right back, cockspit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

#21059569
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36607) - you deserved it (5817)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by EmmaleeSupertramp (woman) - United States

Today, during an important exam, I had a huge panic attack and had to run out of the exam hall. Everyone saw me, and now everywhere I go, people keep pretending to have a panic attack and run away from me. I have to spend two more years with these assholes. FML

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56250) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML



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