Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (8312)
On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (2304)
On 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm - kids - by icanthearyou (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33977) - you deserved it (2277)
On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39418) - you deserved it (11931)
On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40637) - you deserved it (2712)
On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark
Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34867) - you deserved it (3950)
On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53501) - you deserved it (3052)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (1556)
On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29375) - you deserved it (7507)
On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (2068)
On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States
Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34246) - you deserved it (1780)
On 04/02/2013 at 11:34am - love - by ItsAnanya (woman) - India (Delhi)
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (2962)
On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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