Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my wedding venue called and canceled our reservation because we were double booked with a spaghetti bingo night, which they felt was more important. FML

#21361818
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (2521)

On 02/23/2015 at 3:49pm - misc - by looking4newvenue (woman) - United States

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML

#21361049
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29143) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:21pm - money - by HaliMali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they were just razor rash. FML

#21360762
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (4019)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:15am - intimacy - by awkward.. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

#21360646
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33386) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33011) - you deserved it (3904)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (475) - you deserved it (2705)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28445) - you deserved it (3762)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29754) - you deserved it (2488)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

Today, I found a phone in a fitting room. I called the number that said "home" to let the owner know that I was going to give it to the store's manager. Apparently the husband didn't know his wife was out shopping and "blowing all his earnings". FML

#21359482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (2237)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:16pm - money - by Enslaved (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

#21359143
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30209) - you deserved it (2521)

On 02/19/2015 at 10:47am - work - by Vercsi (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: