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Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML

#21419164
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35939) - you deserved it (2660)

On 06/01/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by kash (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally hit my husband in the face. Not 2 minutes later, while laying in bed and trying to apologize, I accidentally kneed him in the balls. FML

Today, the babysitter not only clogged the toilet, they tried to unclog it with our vacuum cleaner hose. FML

#21418872
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (1905)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:37pm - misc - by somebody (woman) - United States

Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML

#21418531
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24771) - you deserved it (4376)

On 05/31/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Sleepy (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, a guy hit on me. It's such a rare occurrence that I didn't know how to react, so I panicked and said "Sorry, I have to go!" Then I remembered we were on a bus, and just turned around and awkwardly pretended he wasn't there. FML

#21418496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (6062)

On 05/31/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I uploaded a photo of myself at the beach on Facebook. The first comment it got was "Wow!! If I was 20 yrs younger, oh boy ;)". Yeah, thanks for that, grandpa. FML

#21418445
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26617) - you deserved it (2442)

On 05/31/2015 at 5:13am - misc - by disgusting (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

#21417917
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32504) - you deserved it (2834)

On 05/30/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

#21417868
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (3124)

On 05/30/2015 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my crackhead neighbour got slightly annoyed at my 2-day-old daughter's late-night wailing. Well, I think so, anyway, as she politely requested us to "SHUT THAT CUNT KID UP." or she would "BLOW BOTH OUR HOUSES UP, YOU FUCKING ASSFUCKS." But I'm not 100% sure. FML

#21417851
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/29/2015 at 11:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML

#21417814
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (2115)

On 05/29/2015 at 10:39pm - animals - by poophead (woman) - Philippines

Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

#21417526
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (7846)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:04am - love - by Headless (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25375) - you deserved it (3975)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (5577)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)



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