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Today, my husband suggested we get divorced, "for tax purposes". FML

#21145215
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46486) - you deserved it (4300)

On 05/19/2014 at 2:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

#21144192
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40479) - you deserved it (4655)

On 05/18/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by motherfuck666 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37824) - you deserved it (8610)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48795) - you deserved it (3518)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my two year old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

#21143663
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (4420)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:51am - kids - by WolfieJL (woman) - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54277) - you deserved it (5000)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML

#21143094
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45638) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm - misc - by spasti-cunt (woman) - Ireland

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46184) - you deserved it (8684)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

#21142181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (14156)

On 05/16/2014 at 7:20pm - misc - by Female Struggles (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40859) - you deserved it (8120)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36536) - you deserved it (8021)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45450) - you deserved it (3379)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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