Today, I didn't have the courage to tell the guy who likes me that I only thought of him as a friend, so I asked my best friend to do it for me. It turns out that her way of doing this is telling him to "fuck off" and then punching him in the face. FML

by ShouldHaveDoneItMyself / 07/05/2016 at 1:04pm / Sudan / Miscellaneous

Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML

by ZeldaovaPeach / 07/05/2016 at 8:44am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

by Finn / 07/05/2016 at 2:49am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

by Mnm54312 / 07/04/2016 at 3:19am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I found out that my company used a nice photo of my coworkers and me for their corporate website, in efforts to make their office seem fun and relaxed. This wouldn't be so bad if they hadn't just fired every single person in the photo, myself included. FML

by Welp / 07/03/2016 at 8:39am / Romania / Work

Today, I was looking at dating profiles with my single friend, trying to find a guy for her, and we found my husband's profile. FML

by Anna / 07/02/2016 at 5:08pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I got threatened with a gun at the drive-thru, all because my coworker forgot to include extra fries in the guy's order. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 3:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I witnessed my sister use some ice cubes on her blistered toes, then quietly return them to the tray in the fridge. I've been putting ice from there into my drinks for weeks. FML

by SJDAOisdjlkSADlksda / 07/01/2016 at 10:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 2:24pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I set up a hidden camera in my room so I could prove that my sister beats me up when my parents aren't home, since they always accuse me of lying about it. When I showed them, they wasted no time accusing me of "provoking" her off-camera. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2016 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my university is capable of sending me two diplomas in short succession due to a clerical error, but can't recognize that I've graduated and won't be taking classes with them in the fall. FML

by bamrd / 06/30/2016 at 9:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a selfie where I used the Snapchat face-swap to put my best friend's face on mine. My boyfriend didn't notice and texted back, 'Wow, so beautiful!' FML

by Catnip / 06/30/2016 at 7:42pm / Germany (Hessen) / Love

Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML