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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (31574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35780) - you deserved it (13731)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

#21071417
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (7919)

On 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by OverIt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was told I pull the "whole grunge look" off quite well. I don't dress "grunge", nor was that my intention. FML

#21071401
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (4364)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm - misc - by ashleylynn17 (woman) -

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39511) - you deserved it (7013)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (4823)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44889) - you deserved it (5148)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (4445)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41179) - you deserved it (6027)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35308) - you deserved it (6155)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

#21067820
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36521) - you deserved it (5551)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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