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Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29843) - you deserved it (3172)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (3305)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (1845)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (4633)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31690) - you deserved it (2993)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (2095)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25351) - you deserved it (6081)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

#21403264
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (2525)

On 05/02/2015 at 4:04am - work - by tumblrinas_at_work (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

#21402962
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (2199)

On 05/01/2015 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after frantically searching my house and office and calling every place I'd visited in the last 24 hours, I finally found my phone in my fridge. FML

#21402394
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (5952)

On 04/30/2015 at 2:48pm - work - by nerderer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

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