Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (7612)
On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47349) - you deserved it (5709)
On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55017) - you deserved it (3081)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35943) - you deserved it (6591)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38207) - you deserved it (3420)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (8513)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (3710)
On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (10386)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38820) - you deserved it (4148)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34322) - you deserved it (12220)
On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34410) - you deserved it (16707)
On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (3432)
On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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