Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML

#21503235
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20618) - you deserved it (1716)

On 12/13/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by noodlesandmilk (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML

#21502862
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20689) - you deserved it (1446)

On 12/12/2015 at 8:33am - love - by fionna_fiamma (woman) - Slovenia (Maribor Commune)

Today, I was given the following pearls of wisdom: "My grandmother always told me, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. Anyway, she was a cunt and so are you." Thanks, dad. Thanks. FML

#21502783
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (1954)

On 12/11/2015 at 11:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML

#21502646
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18278) - you deserved it (1621)

On 12/11/2015 at 4:10pm - work - by WeightonmyShoulders (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

#21502621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm - love - by strictly cum prancing (woman) - United States

Today, my mother won't let me intern at a prestigious college, working with graduate students and professors, and being paid, because she doesn't want to drive me. FML

#21502374
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (4773)

On 12/10/2015 at 7:12pm - misc - by crushed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the bladder infection I thought I was over flared up at work, causing me to piss myself, despite having gone twice in the previous hour. I still had to finish my shift, soaked pants and all. FML

#21502315
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22255) - you deserved it (1721)

On 12/10/2015 at 4:38pm - work - by PissyPuss (woman) - United States

Today, I had been stress-eating a lot of junk food during finals week at college. I was feeling worried about my figure, and lifted up my shirt to see myself in the mirror. My boyfriend, who I didn't know was watching, promptly said, "Whoa babe, it looks like the condom broke!" FML

#21502268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/10/2015 at 1:45pm - love - by pregnantapparently (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my so-called "friends" on my Skype group chat have another group chat that contains everyone but me. Apparently, they made it so I would not "disturb" their conversations. FML

#21502217
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (2435)

On 12/10/2015 at 10:53am - misc - by AlwaysRejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

#21502177
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22435) - you deserved it (2324)

On 12/10/2015 at 7:34am - misc - by MiceMiles (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while making less than minimum wage at McDonalds, I had to dispose of a grown man's soiled underwear that he left on the bathroom floor under a pile of toilet paper. It isn't even the grossest thing I've seen in my six months of employment. FML

#21502162
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21239) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/10/2015 at 5:47am - work - by WishIWasADogMinder (woman) - Australia

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

#21502057
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20977) - you deserved it (1557)

On 12/09/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally received my first love letter. Too bad it was from the boy who lit me on fire two months ago. FML

#21501998
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20859) - you deserved it (1502)

On 12/09/2015 at 6:42pm - love - by PerturbedStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: