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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML

#21158368
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (3488)

On 05/31/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53709) - you deserved it (7353)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML

#21157984
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36655) - you deserved it (9221)

On 05/31/2014 at 5:13am - health - by jjcod (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

#21157338
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40050) - you deserved it (6060)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41299) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58803) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46248) - you deserved it (27689)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

#21153742
109 comments

Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML

#21153496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47806) - you deserved it (5022)

On 05/27/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

#21153319
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45149) - you deserved it (3744)

On 05/27/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States

Today, at work I had to explain to a client that male dogs can wear red collars and it doesn't make them "gay". The client then got angry and stormed out of the store, causing me to get written up. FML

#21153154
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (4387)

On 05/27/2014 at 7:15am - animals - by Holyguacamoly (woman) - Iceland

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (3534)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

#21151208
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36163) - you deserved it (5953)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm - love - by aww, such a nice guy. NOT (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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