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Today, I started a new internship. I couldn't do anything until I was trained, and I couldn't be trained until I had a login. I stared at a wall for three hours. FML

#21185673
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43733) - you deserved it (13728)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42490) - you deserved it (8774)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50933) - you deserved it (5898)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47926) - you deserved it (8244)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

#21182017
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41279) - you deserved it (4961)

On 06/20/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (7652)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (50356)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was reading butthurt comments about how girl gamers can easily get dates and find love by simply existing. I'm a "girl gamer" who hasn't even found a date, let alone love. I've been looking since I was sixteen. I'm now 27. FML

#21179364
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44697) - you deserved it (7047)

On 06/18/2014 at 12:48pm - love - by AgentRarity (woman) -

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML

#21178301
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47927) - you deserved it (7398)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by ifeelfat (woman) - United States



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