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Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (6143)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

#21310077
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (3508)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (4381)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the school counselor asked me to leave the grief counseling group for the death of my sister. Apparently, I scare the others. FML

#21309843
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32659) - you deserved it (2091)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:30am - kids - by notmycircus (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, my husband shaved off his beard. Turns out he looks like my ex. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (5727)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister asked if she could play on my laptop, but I said no because I was writing an essay for school. She then bit herself hard and showed the mark to our parents, saying I did it. As they bitched me out, my sister got on my laptop and deleted my half-finished essay. FML

#21308491
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (2566)

On 11/30/2014 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (5844)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (4674)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

#21307526
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (11895)

On 11/28/2014 at 1:07pm - kids - by Ruinedchristmas (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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