Today, it's White Day, a tradition in Japan where men buy gifts for women. A coworker walks in with gifts, hands them out to the local women, explains the holiday to a new guy, and walks out. I'm the only person in our office who didn't get a Valentine's Day or White Day gift. FML

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 12:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I went back to my high school for an event with some of my friends, both of which are in relationships. Whilst there we saw our favorite teacher, who hugged us and said, "I heard you have a boyfriend! And so do you!" And then she turned to me and said, "And... And you're doing great things!" FML

by singleasapringle / 03/13/2016 at 1:41am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML

by porkers gonna pork :\ / 03/12/2016 at 10:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my high school sweetheart after 12 years. He confessed that he's been single ever since we broke up, never got over me, and that to this day he loves me dearly. I'm a married mother of two. FML

by :/ / 03/12/2016 at 6:36am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, an attention seeking weirdo who thinks she's my friend asked me who was going to be the maid of honour at my wedding. Knowing what she was really asking, I said I just want a small, non-fancy wedding with no bridesmaids. She broke down into a sobbing mess in front of me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2016 at 6:13am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I arrived early so I could check in with the receptionists about this weird communication mixup that's caused me to miss my last two appointments. Despite what my appointment card said, I arrived to find the office closed. FML

by in pain and tardy / 03/11/2016 at 6:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML

by awkwardmandy / 03/11/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, only to witness a woman with her shirt pulled up giving herself a sink bath. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me on the phone that he thought we were too poor for value-pack bacon. When I got home, I found he had gone to work leaving two lights and the TV on, and that the shower was running. He said, "Turning things on and off takes too much time! Who cares about money?" FML

by bridget1989 / 03/11/2016 at 5:03am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Money

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

by DrumrollPlease / 03/10/2016 at 8:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, a student came out to me, saying that she thinks she's gay. This has happened several times since I have taught here, which made me wonder why they were comfortable telling me. Turns out being a single, childless woman of my age screams "lesbian" to this particular community. I'm not. FML

by phalangesenfuego / 03/10/2016 at 9:07am / United States (Washington) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a full tuition scholarship to my ideal university in the mail. This would be perfect, except I sent an email to the college 2 days earlier, informing them that I couldn't attend because of financial concerns. FML

by AllyK_shawol / 03/09/2016 at 1:55pm / United States (Georgia) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.