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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32713) - you deserved it (4824)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33826) - you deserved it (2796)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (3612)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (7405)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (3117)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

#21332081
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Discouraged (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36981) - you deserved it (2467)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (5550)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom called me into the living room to say that she had something important to tell me. She then explained how she and my dad had "talked things over" and wanted me to know that they accept me and love me no matter what. Apparently my mom thinks I'm lesbian. I'm not. FML

#21331516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (2579)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML

#21331498
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (1800)

On 01/05/2015 at 6:47pm - misc - by ivegotapackage (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

#21331330
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:52pm - misc - by help (woman) - Malta



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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