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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (2028)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

#21426197
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (2177)

On 06/14/2015 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

#21425930
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (2169)

On 06/14/2015 at 1:06pm - misc - by lulumars (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

#21425769
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (6468)

On 06/14/2015 at 2:35am - health - by flipflap (woman) -

Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML

#21425446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (2114)

On 06/13/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by pantsareathing (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29539) - you deserved it (1966)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38294) - you deserved it (4194)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (2042)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an ultrasound tech complimented me on my "exceptionally full bladder". That's probably the best compliment I've received this week. FML

#21424908
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23496) - you deserved it (2073)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:02am - misc - by Jules7594 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23945) - you deserved it (6778)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (1776)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28563) - you deserved it (1740)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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