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Man or woman?

Today, I watched in horror from the doorway as my brother furiously scratched at his greasy hair and ate the large flakes of dead skin that came loose from his scalp. I think our real dad might be caged in a zoo somewhere. FML

#21369858
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (2080)

On 03/07/2015 at 10:58am - misc - by GROSS (woman) - Bangladesh

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60) - you deserved it (4874)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (2872)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21369265
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (1923)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16149) - you deserved it (41057)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

Today, it's been almost two months that I've been taking hair, skin and nails vitamins. The only thing growing noticeably longer, faster, stronger, and healthier are my pubes. I've never sheared a sheep before, but I imagine the maintenance I just did was comparable. FML

#21368822
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (5)

On 03/05/2015 at 6:34pm - health - by bushwhacker (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML

#21368765
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25414) - you deserved it (2208)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:26pm - work - by phishy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

#21368646
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (2336)

On 03/05/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by cheshirealyce (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

#21368483
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27) - you deserved it (5902)

On 03/05/2015 at 4:19am - work - by lion2294 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my neighbor at my apartment building told me water from my sink was leaking into his apartment. He told me to call maintenance to fix it, but they won't help unless he calls. He refuses to, and I can't do my dishes without feeling like an asshole. FML

#21368266
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (2676)

On 03/04/2015 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I got a call from a potential employer. They spent five minutes explaining job duties and I listened with anticipation. Then they spent five minutes explaining why I wasn't the right person for the job. FML

#21367505
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (1935)

On 03/03/2015 at 7:28pm - work - by Kali (woman) - United States (California)



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