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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (2643)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 2 months of searching, I finally found a good, stable job. How does the universe reward me upon waking up on my very first day? With a burning yeast infection. FML

#21445936
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (2473)

On 07/23/2015 at 11:07am - health - by rhcpgurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

#21445864
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (2497)

On 07/23/2015 at 5:44am - animals - by Skoff (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (1968)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

#21445392
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (3125)

On 07/22/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

#21444969
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (2510)

On 07/21/2015 at 11:17am - misc - by father-in-nope (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my flatmate asked me to wash the large pile of dishes on the bench, and if I would start on cleaning the house which was a total mess. This would have been fine if I hadn't just walked in after being away for a week. FML

#21444629
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (1977)

On 07/20/2015 at 6:01pm - misc - by I did them anyway (woman) - New Zealand

Today, a customer wanted corporate's number because we aren't allowed to sell pies after midnight. After a drug-fuelled cuss-storm, she punched me in the face through the open window and peeled out of drive-thru like a bat out of hell. FML

#21444376
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23743) - you deserved it (1756)

On 07/20/2015 at 4:21am - work - by TheDrugsAreStrongWithThisOne (woman) - United States

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (3268)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

#21444252
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25631) - you deserved it (1939)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by creepedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with an old friend I've had a crush on for years. We're both single, so I figured it to be kind of like a date. Until he started talking about how he told his brother last night that we would never be a thing. FML

#21444043
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22227) - you deserved it (2265)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2937)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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