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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

#21460883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1969)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:31am - love - by Ananimus (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

#21460870
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18656) - you deserved it (8306)

On 08/26/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8978) - you deserved it (36864)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML

#21460841
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (3535)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:33am - work - by salope (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my daughter babysit her 2-year-old brother while I went out with my husband. I told her not to let him out of her sight. She certainly did as I said; when I tuned into our internet-enabled baby monitor, I heard her and some guy having sex in the room. FML

#21460833
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22391) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/26/2015 at 4:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21460636
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22054) - you deserved it (1793)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:46pm - health - by whovian221b (woman) - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20366) - you deserved it (6988)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML

#21460573
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

#21460569
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21365) - you deserved it (1764)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:46pm - love - by NocturnalFox (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (1581)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was just a few days away from starting the training for my promotion to management, which involved a healthy pay raise and full time benefits. Today, news came down that the company is filing for bankruptcy. FML

#21460116
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (1326)

On 08/24/2015 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (8201)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had my driver's permit in an envelope to keep it safe and a letter to mail out. I drove away from the post office with the letter in my hand. FML

#21459843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (7391)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:40pm - misc - by JadeDemolition (woman) - United States (California)



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