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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML

#19048946 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (2708) - you deserved it (404)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by soupisyummy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (716) - you deserved it (1822)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (3473) - you deserved it (271)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (1575) - you deserved it (6391)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

#19044019 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (3600) - you deserved it (330)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by Saw (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

#19040950 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (2059) - you deserved it (4897)

On 02/10/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

#19039937 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (4414) - you deserved it (522)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

#19039920 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (4554) - you deserved it (604)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:51am - kids - by ilana (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

#19039912 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (4034) - you deserved it (836)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:37am - love - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me he's going to get tested for STDs, because he's worried about a previous partner. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness, but I'd be even more grateful if we hadn't already slept together several times. FML

#19036366 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (3679) - you deserved it (839)

On 02/09/2012 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by nosymptoms (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (5756) - you deserved it (2852)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (6188) - you deserved it (1155)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (4457) - you deserved it (869)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan