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Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12817) - you deserved it (1032)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9784) - you deserved it (11193)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22653) - you deserved it (1484)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (3544)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML

#21412612
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (1452)

On 05/19/2015 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML

#21412477
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (8595)

On 05/19/2015 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (2719)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (1739)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

#21411522
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (5527)

On 05/17/2015 at 3:32pm - misc - by norpedo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

#21411436
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20969) - you deserved it (9362)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:13pm - work - by smellynelly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

#21411433
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (2557)

On 05/17/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by creepedoutmom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML



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