Today, I walked in on my younger cousin trying to find Minecraft porn. FML

by billjoebob424 / 03/18/2016 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, I'm stuck working in a brutally hostile work environment under my mother-in-law, who's never forgiven me for marrying her daughter. I only got the job because of family politics. Four months on, I still can't even land so much as a single interview elsewhere. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML

by mynameisnotstupid / 03/18/2016 at 11:05am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Druncle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML

by drucle / 03/18/2016 at 8:49am / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Health

Today, I got a heads-up that my boss suffered a death in the family, but was coming into work anyway. I thought he'd be depressed, but it seems he deals with grief with anger instead. I found that out when he yelled at me, threatening to rip my spine out my ass over a typo I made in a report. FML

by Anonymous / 03/17/2016 at 9:21am / Netherlands (Limburg) / Work

Today, I missed a phone interview for a job at Telstra because Telstra's phone network was down. FML

by fucktelstra / 03/17/2016 at 7:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Work

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

by slugitha / 03/16/2016 at 6:23am / United States / Animals

Today, the company I work for decided to herald the step to becoming fully digital by hanging physical passive-aggressive flyers everywhere, urging everyone to go digital. Might as well have written, "Save the trees" on them. FML

by tdtf / 03/16/2016 at 5:11am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

by Mr. King / 03/16/2016 at 4:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML

by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML

by -_- / 03/14/2016 at 9:46pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML

Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted to the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML

by NotEnoughBleach / 03/13/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous