Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41648) - you deserved it (4552)
On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (2457)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64623) - you deserved it (3719)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (18075)
On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (2261)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32487) - you deserved it (11445)
On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25077) - you deserved it (33662)
On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (6415)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51669) - you deserved it (2677)
On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44062) - you deserved it (4523)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44764) - you deserved it (2646)
On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States
Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (2361)
On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50975) - you deserved it (3149)
On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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