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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (16172)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49045) - you deserved it (4733)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

#21204665
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40012) - you deserved it (5074)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

#21202583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40256) - you deserved it (3802)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:40am - misc - by crippled (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52019) - you deserved it (7804)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

#21200605
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43067) - you deserved it (7155)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a power outage at my house, my 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42416) - you deserved it (3933)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45649) - you deserved it (3776)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML

#21198798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48184) - you deserved it (4343)

On 07/04/2014 at 7:17pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I took an IQ test for a laugh. To be honest, I've often suspected that I may have some form of mental retardation, but I didn't expect to get a score of 79, while he got one of 114. FML

#21198731
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you deserved it (6673)

On 07/04/2014 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML

#21198585
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43146) - you deserved it (2980)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was reviewing documents at work, only to find one of my coworkers has been signing off on paperwork, claiming he's been walking one of the residents daily. Aside from being a double leg amputee, the patient died two weeks ago. The state review board comes this week. FML

#21198473
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36064) - you deserved it (3447)

On 07/04/2014 at 1:29pm - work - by cakefete2 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (16696)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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