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Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (2729)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, on my first driving lesson, I crashed my instructor's car. I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. FML

#21407296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (9740)

On 05/09/2015 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

#21407249
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28266) - you deserved it (9255)

On 05/09/2015 at 1:13pm - misc - by Rar (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18728) - you deserved it (35795)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (7101)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, my obsessive-compulsive mother barred me from using the toilet she had just cleaned. She told me to wait until tomorrow. FML

#21406668
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27511) - you deserved it (1815)

On 05/08/2015 at 8:46am - misc - by MedChew (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

#21406510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (2638)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:23pm - animals - by MyNameIsNotJeff (man) - United States

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (4347)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

#21405133
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29210) - you deserved it (12197)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by 420curse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (3141)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29417) - you deserved it (4564)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30292) - you deserved it (2704)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2358)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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