Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21079) - you deserved it (5866)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (4283)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (5204)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3192)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25679) - you deserved it (2570)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27857) - you deserved it (1774)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35575) - you deserved it (2291)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

#21383638
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (6703)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23002) - you deserved it (12463)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (1965)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (4609)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24280) - you deserved it (5319)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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