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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (7055)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (2547)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43748) - you deserved it (7147)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, I've been waiting for a very important document in the mail. It has been two months. I reviewed my application and realized I forgot to put a mailing address down. FML

#21081681
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30786) - you deserved it (16961)

On 03/08/2014 at 9:15pm - misc - by AmericanAlien (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (5518)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (5555)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53798) - you deserved it (2987)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40697) - you deserved it (4162)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39024) - you deserved it (2860)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34330) - you deserved it (13956)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39017) - you deserved it (6044)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

#21077978
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (3643)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39570) - you deserved it (2531)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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