Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

by CallmeTokey / 07/11/2016 at 11:21pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I biked to the lake. And by "to" I mean "into". With my phone in my jacket and my laptop in my backpack. FML

by Midion / 07/11/2016 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Transportation

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2016 at 3:58am / Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya) / Kids

Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML

by me / 07/10/2016 at 11:00pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2016 at 12:33pm / Health

Today, a girl on my Snapchat list posted a story asking for anybody who was awake to talk to her. Me being awake, I took her up on the request. Her response? "Sorry I didn't mean you." FML

by snowmon06 / 07/10/2016 at 12:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over and was given a ticket because my exhaust was too loud. I got this ticket while on my way to get said exhaust fixed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 5:22pm / Transportation

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 11:14am / Work

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 12:09am / Kids

Today, I did a California stop during a drive with my Driver's Ed teacher. He made me get out, hug the stop sign and apologize to it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 9:13pm / Transportation

Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2016 at 6:09pm / Work

Today, I was driving with my little brother when out of nowhere he yelled at me to stop. Thinking it was urgent, I slammed my breaks, almost getting rammed from behind. Why did he yell for me to stop? The Pokémon GO said there was a sparrow near us. FML

by PurplePanda_1927 / 07/07/2016 at 10:26pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML

by bearprint / 07/06/2016 at 2:45pm / Work