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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after waiting in front of a washroom stall for 20 minutes to take a dump, I finally realized that the "person" in the stall was just a pair of shoes. FML

#21512486
60 comments

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

#21512109
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19079) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/06/2016 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonycock (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, let's just say it's not a good sign when your plumber yells "What the fuck?!" That is, unless you actually like your kitchen being swamped by sewage. FML

#21512099
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (1232)

On 01/06/2016 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to move a load of laundry out of the washer and into the dryer, but the clothes were already in the dryer. Normally, I would be happy about this. However, I am currently living alone. FML

#21511987
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20793) - you deserved it (1866)

On 01/05/2016 at 11:48pm - misc - by Pithegreat (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone had thrown up onto the last remaining seat on the train. Guess who accidentally sat in it. FML

#21511850
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (3144)

On 01/05/2016 at 5:23pm - misc - by sochunky (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

#21511770
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (1990)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:44pm - misc - by notanightowlanymore (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

#21511511
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22364) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm - misc - by this is impossible (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss lost the company a very lucrative contract I had worked on for weeks because he wouldn't tolerate the client's "disrespect." The disrespect? Asking him to not interrupt her or put words in her mouth during a conference call with her employees. FML

Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML

#21511081
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17832) - you deserved it (1662)

On 01/03/2016 at 5:42pm - health - by yankesik (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

#21511030
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (3848)

On 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by ywouldudomelikethat (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24307) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML

#21510493
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9902) - you deserved it (23036)

On 01/02/2016 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after much reflection, I realized my "happy childhood" was more like "the years I was oblivious to how much people despised me." FML

#21510381
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (1947)

On 01/01/2016 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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