Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53694) - you deserved it (7632)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46854) - you deserved it (2748)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39112) - you deserved it (5237)
On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43507) - you deserved it (1648)
On 05/01/2013 at 9:52pm - work - by Paul (man) - United States
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35441) - you deserved it (4384)
On 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm - animals - by Annonymous_Dad (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (7058)
On 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by MrConcise (man) - United States
Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (11675)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by Brady (man) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33893) - you deserved it (7176)
On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50687) - you deserved it (4430)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35644) - you deserved it (7574)
On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (49419)
On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States
Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37498) - you deserved it (2476)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46831) - you deserved it (5756)
On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia
Monday 20 May 2013
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