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Man or woman?

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36306) - you deserved it (24677)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46494) - you deserved it (12128)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51819) - you deserved it (16790)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47861) - you deserved it (5162)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got the same feeling in my chest when I orgasmed as when I hit a hard section in Guitar Hero. FML

#21187067
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35733) - you deserved it (7333)

On 06/24/2014 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by massachusettsan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

#21185584
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39994) - you deserved it (7717)

On 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm - money - by amused (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

#21185267
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45530) - you deserved it (4175)

On 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by Badatlife (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (4745)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54878) - you deserved it (7691)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML

#21184361
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45563) - you deserved it (4596)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:06pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38285) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52364) - you deserved it (4576)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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