Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38549) - you deserved it (6327)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51169) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (2893)
On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (3108)
On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43865) - you deserved it (3868)
On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31541) - you deserved it (15031)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35082) - you deserved it (5356)
On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (9988)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (3323)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:42am - misc - by JDziewaltowski (man) - United States
Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (3837)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41748) - you deserved it (1883)
On 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm - misc - by Dalistair (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38555) - you deserved it (3491)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (2020)
On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)
Monday 17 June 2013
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