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Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37227) - you deserved it (4036)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (4233)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77803) - you deserved it (4726)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (5089)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45180) - you deserved it (7962)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49187) - you deserved it (3185)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

#15767
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11381) - you deserved it (40891)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by dgordo3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked at the facebook of the girl I really liked, and I saw she wrote on her friend's wall "Last night was the biggest mistake of my life." We hooked up last night. FML

#15703
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47193) - you deserved it (4183)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by YeahWhatOkay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62982) - you deserved it (7841)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

#14357
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29942) - you deserved it (6080)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by scatter00x (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

#14349
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (10151)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Misunderstood (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9772) - you deserved it (36585)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)



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