Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (3586)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50112) - you deserved it (5095)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13358) - you deserved it (55717)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55588) - you deserved it (5208)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (9800)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41464) - you deserved it (7684)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44205) - you deserved it (3434)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response: "Lucky you." FML

#69948
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50963) - you deserved it (20853)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by sadguy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16177) - you deserved it (49637)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

#66830
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (4848)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:55am - love - by dxl (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60536) - you deserved it (19378)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

#61591
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45179) - you deserved it (3055)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by jons (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

#60541
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64855) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by mynameisnotdrew (man) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: