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Man or woman?

Today, I filled out a political survey for a psychology experiment. A really cute girl was doing it, too. We hit it off and flirted through the surveys, and I asked her out when it was done. Then I found out it was really an attraction experiment and she was in on it. She was acting. FML

#783275
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75902) - you deserved it (7237)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:40pm - love - by Troy (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was in an audition for a production at this theater in town. The directors at the table loved my audition. One of them said "I'd love to talk to you about coming to TCU." I said "Oh, yeah! I know Harry Parker at TCU who runs the theater department." I said this to Harry Parker. FML

#774654
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10660) - you deserved it (85259)

On 04/02/2009 at 10:12pm - work - by Zak (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

#771915
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (240509) - you deserved it (24706)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss came up to my desk to talk about a new project. He came up to my monitor so we can go to a website. My browser had frozen and I couldn't close it. The tabs I had open: Facebook, Gmail, Careerbuilder, Monster, and Resume Samples. FML

#768623
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16343) - you deserved it (64511)

On 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm - work - by ex-employee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

#766931
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64733) - you deserved it (3016)

On 04/02/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

#763376
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60047) - you deserved it (28900)

On 04/02/2009 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

#761091
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85468) - you deserved it (6603)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML

#755520
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25622) - you deserved it (91011)

On 04/01/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Casino (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing in a basketball game and blocked this kid's shot. I was really pumped up about it until I realized the kid had cerebral palsy and the coach put him on the team because he really wanted to be on at least one team in his life. FML

#754316
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29221) - you deserved it (49891)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by jalapenos99 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

#754264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56545) - you deserved it (10918)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by Nutless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

#745352
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51505) - you deserved it (66819)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

#742814
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59753) - you deserved it (15529)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:16am - intimacy - by easilyexited (man) - United States (Illinois)



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