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TODAY... MA GRLFRIEND AND I WERE OUTSIDE TANNING IN TE SUN. I ASKED ER IF SE COULD PUT SOME SUNSCREEN ON MA BACK. TINKING IT WOULD BE FUNNY... SE USED TE LOTION TO WRITE "I LOVE LITTLE BOYS". I WORK AS A CILDREN'S SWIMMING INSTRUCTOR. FML

#864226
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63536) - you deserved it (5786)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , mah boyfriend broke up with me because apparently looool I need to "grow up" . He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room . FML

#856956
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59208) - you deserved it (20263)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today... I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minute into the flight I noticed mah fly was open. The lady woke to me with mah hands in mah crotch struggling to zip up mah fly. FML

#853459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58619) - you deserved it (7384)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by saltynutz20 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

TODAY , I WAS AT THE BEACH WALKING ON THE BOARDWALK WITHOUT A SHRT ON. TWO CUTE GRLS R WALKING WAY AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND IMPRES THEM BY FLEXING ABS. WHILE I FLEXD THEM , I ACCIDENTALLY LET A FART OUT THAT EVERYONE HERED. EVERYBODY , INCLUDING THE GRLS , LAUGHD HYSTERICALLY AT ME. FML

#852008
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13140) - you deserved it (75279)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by gotmon3y (man) - United States (Maryland)

2day I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10,ho I'va saan thara bafora) cama in to looool ordar food fir his Dad. Ha ordars vary axcitadly , an I told him ha'd ba a graat workar harahan ha gats oldar. Ha said "oh no , mah Dad says I'm too smart to work in a placa lika this." FML

#850361
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55921) - you deserved it (12530)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:50am - work - by GT716 (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage!! A picture popped up of an ugly grl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf"!! The room went very quiet!! "Shrek" was sitting beside me!! FML

#850097
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13644) - you deserved it (160768)

On 04/07/2009 at 7:46am - misc - by Brastro (man) - Ireland (Kildare)

Yesterday, I saw the blueprints fir mah family's new house . My room is half the size of the room next to it . The room next to it is mah step mom's walk-in closet . FML

#849768
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (169214) - you deserved it (9239)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Was Looking At Te Page Of A Girl I've Ad Tis Big Crus On 4 A Long Time . After Getting A Date Wit Er An Taking Er Orse Back Riding An Aving A Picture Taken Of Te Two Of Us I Fine Tat Se Paint Soppd Me Out Of Te Picture Before Posting It . FML

#847949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57947) - you deserved it (4044)

On 04/07/2009 at 1:21am - love - by darkman28 (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned looool that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

#844380
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9870) - you deserved it (90962)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking my littla sistar homa from tha aya doctor. It was raining out so wa wara kind of in a hurry to gat homa. Wa gat homa and about half an hour latar, tha cops show up. Apparantly, somaona saw ma walking my sistar and callad tha cops on ma thinking I was a child molastar. FML

#843077
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80865) - you deserved it (3210)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today , I was going on a dinner date with a grl I had just met . After I picked her up I asked her if she would like to get lobster . She looked at me and asked if those were the red ones . Confused I nodded . She replied , "Sorry , I don't eat red meat." I laughed . She was serious . FML

#834791
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60776) - you deserved it (5439)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

TADAY I WAS WAITERING AT THE RESTAURANT THAT I WORK ATHEN I COLLECTD A CREDIT CARD BILL THAT WAS WORTH $120 AND A BIG ZERO ON THE TIP LINE. ANGERD, I TURND TO A CO-WORKER AND SAID "I KNEW THIS ASSHOLE WASN'T GOING TO TIP ME." THE GUY WAS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND ME WITH $30 IN HIS HAND. FML

#833140
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (155229)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

TODAY, I WAS AT IKEA WIT MA PARENTS!! I WALKD AWAY FROM TEM AND LATER I EARD TE SPEAKER OF TE STORE CALL MA NAME ASKING ME TO COME TO TE PLAYGROUND CUZ MA MOM AND DAD WERE WORRID!! I'M 18!! FML

#832859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69327) - you deserved it (4554)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:12am - misc - by BrilsmurfO_O (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



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