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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39772) - you deserved it (10560)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51122) - you deserved it (8164)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44038) - you deserved it (22612)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

#80868
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (4623)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by Kev (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

#79769
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57349) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by killmenow (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52739) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49029) - you deserved it (4873)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16012) - you deserved it (31747)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40937) - you deserved it (27331)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in a girls bed, that I have had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

#77324
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44325) - you deserved it (3578)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:29am - misc - by VacationTSA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there. FML

#77123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50004) - you deserved it (5089)

On 02/19/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Invisible (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked to borrow my fat friend's pants for a semi-formal activity tomorrow. I figured I'd just get a belt to hold the pants up. Turns out, the pants fit me. FML

#76555
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13322) - you deserved it (55573)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:18am - health - by Machine (man) - Japan (Okinawa)



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