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Man or woman?

Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML

#30294
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39931) - you deserved it (11915)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by thegoldenboy3 (man) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (44725)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156079) - you deserved it (44920)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I greeted my table (I'm a server) with a colloquial "Hey there, guys, how's it going?" The customers were three butch lesbians who thought I was incorrectly identifying their gender. I received no tip (on a $35 bill), and they registered a corporate complaint about my "insensitivity." FML

#29316
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36712) - you deserved it (4017)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by ServingYouWings (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45460) - you deserved it (5451)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex girlfriend. FML

#26811
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55718) - you deserved it (2094)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by EKG (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57665) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He responded with "Who the hell are you?" FML

#24685
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (3873)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:59am - misc - by ADD (man) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I accidentally kicked a child down a set of steps. I work in a kids play area. FML

#24461
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12926) - you deserved it (25224)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:59am - misc - by Crog (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (14215)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

#23513
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10344) - you deserved it (23430)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by tylerlove361 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML

#23429
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (2248)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35815) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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