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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48873) - you deserved it (9145)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I submitted a vacation request to my manager and it was approved. I came back from lunch and was informed that I have been let go. FML

#115170
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41783) - you deserved it (1994)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by ExtendedVacation (man) - United States (California)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33326) - you deserved it (37907)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84748) - you deserved it (21040)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriends house, whom I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her cell, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

#111857
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (10428)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by LAME (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84131) - you deserved it (5620)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46859) - you deserved it (15317)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (66171)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68521) - you deserved it (2897)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

#106107
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32075) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:55pm - misc - by Hello my name is (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64925) - you deserved it (5160)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was at a party and all my friends started asking me ways they could leave so no one would notice because the party sucked. It was MY party. FML

#102896
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (6750)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by SIK of everything (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl I love told me she was sick of guys. I replied that I happened to be a guy. She laughed and said "No, I mean the boyfriend type!" FML

#101898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:16am - love - by Marleck (man) - United States (Georgia)



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