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Man or woman?

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46961) - you deserved it (22413)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, why does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47260) - you deserved it (2999)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the hottest girl in the entire freshman class was telling her friend she was going to Florida for spring break. She said she would be in the same city I would and I couldnt help but say, "Oh, cool! Maybe I'll see you there!" She simply looked at me and said, "I hope not." FML

#328244
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67361) - you deserved it (8835)

On 03/14/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by evanescence (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML

#327078
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81391) - you deserved it (6912)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

#324615
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59349) - you deserved it (16437)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm - money - by california (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, My girlfriend who I've been dating for over a year was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. Thats when I saw she packed 10 condoms with her. FML

#322339
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104623) - you deserved it (5527)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:25pm - love - by that1guy (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170765) - you deserved it (21433)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (60415)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (109626)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I met a really nice couple at a bar. We talked and the conversation eventually drifted towards online dating. I casually commented that hooking up through the internet was sad and pathetic. Turns out they met on Myspace. FML

#317816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13301) - you deserved it (61475)

On 03/14/2009 at 4:43am - love - by bigmouth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

#316812
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80729) - you deserved it (5676)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (125947)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22763) - you deserved it (63872)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)



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