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Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ends the conversation with "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "Thats great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML

#120027
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you deserved it (51194)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML

#117948
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44695) - you deserved it (7002)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by Originality18 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

#116388
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48827) - you deserved it (9140)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by holladaddy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I submitted a vacation request to my manager and it was approved. I came back from lunch and was informed that I have been let go. FML

#115170
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41733) - you deserved it (1992)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:00pm - work - by ExtendedVacation (man) - United States (California)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33297) - you deserved it (37872)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84659) - you deserved it (21028)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriends house, whom I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her cell, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

#111857
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (10420)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:09am - misc - by LAME (man) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84020) - you deserved it (5619)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

#108416
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (15307)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:35pm - misc - by j0hn (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

#107795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25418) - you deserved it (66126)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68458) - you deserved it (2894)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

#106107
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31947) - you deserved it (4152)

On 02/22/2009 at 5:55pm - misc - by Hello my name is (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64721) - you deserved it (5136)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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