Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (2592)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14677) - you deserved it (21527)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to Costa Rica for my first vacation in five years. I immediately rented a scooter for the week after checking into my prepaid, no refunds, hotel. On the way back from the rental agency I hit a pothole and broke my leg and ripped the skin off my foot. I'm flying home tomorrow. FML

#91860
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38835) - you deserved it (3176)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Dale (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16347) - you deserved it (109244)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

#90751
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83593) - you deserved it (3374)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

#89971
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm - animals - by d0pey (man) - United States (California)

Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML

#88598
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8512) - you deserved it (48161)

On 02/20/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by Ava777 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked a co-worker out for a drink. She said yes, then my older brother who was visiting decided to come behind me and pull down my pants in front of the office. Then she said no. FML

#86812
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41476) - you deserved it (2673)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:12am - love - by robotzzz (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
717 comments

I agree, your life sucks (736670) - you deserved it (73989)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

#85047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (1677)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:30am - work - by Noname (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (10176)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46663) - you deserved it (7598)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML

#81236
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41391) - you deserved it (21581)

On 02/19/2009 at 7:17pm - health - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)



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