Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

by dentistvictim / 10/16/2009 at 3:27am / Norway (Oslo) / Health

Today, I went out to start my car to go to work. When it wouldn't start, I popped the hood to see what was wrong. Some kind individual took advantage of the fact that my window doesn't roll up, and stole my battery. FML

by rugernut13 / 10/16/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

by rejectedson / 10/15/2009 at 7:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

by Matt / 10/15/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my younger sister's dog broke its leg. The vets are closed today so instead of going on a date with a girl I have been trying to get for at least 2 years, I need to carry an 80 lb. dog that hates me, up and down the stairs. I already got bit twice. FML

by Noname / 10/15/2009 at 6:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

by artiemilano / 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

by Good_old_Grim / 10/15/2009 at 9:51am / Latvia (Riga) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

by Blanerd / 10/15/2009 at 8:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I found out that, because i'm a student, the employees I train make more than me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2009 at 7:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

by birdhater / 10/15/2009 at 2:16am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I just let out all my feeling for a woman that I have loved for 22 years. When I finished she said "You're so funny" and walked away. FML

by diskdude13 / 10/14/2009 at 9:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

by Pimp53X / 10/14/2009 at 9:16pm / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

by newscomes / 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous