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Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

#2036328
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39000) - you deserved it (2761)

On 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by gameguy3424 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (144799)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
642 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27817) - you deserved it (276302)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my father's weekly unemployment check is more than my bi-weekly pay check. My full time job pays less than my father's unemployment. FML

#2015080
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58644) - you deserved it (4670)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:42pm - money - by thatsucks (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57858) - you deserved it (21646)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had organised to go for an all day fishing trip, but had forgotten to book a day off. I called my boss and told him that I had to stay with my mum in hospital after a car crash that she had last night. He called me a liar and fired me. Turns out my mum is having an affair with my boss. FML

#2008725
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61548) - you deserved it (18284)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:32am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28871) - you deserved it (85965)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61003) - you deserved it (5614)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47026) - you deserved it (7827)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my father sent me a letter in the mail. He spelled my first name wrong on the front of the envelope. I'm turning 28 years old and my own father doesn't know that my name has two "t"s in it. FML

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48751) - you deserved it (3176)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML

#1973868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44555) - you deserved it (4565)

On 05/16/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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