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Today, I was running with sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between legs an I immediately faceplantd on the cement. I now have a swollen nose an cuts all over body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts an I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

#2963947
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (6003)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)

today I finishd the run fir a play in which I playd a gay man . Now that all the performances are over.. . I have kissd a man more times in life than I have kissd a woman . I'm straight . FML

#2963863
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49108) - you deserved it (9413)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

TODAY, A REAL ESTATE AGENT SHOWD MY HOUSE TO SOME BUYERS. I FOUND OUT WHEN I EXITD THE SHOWER, FULLY NUDE, TO THEM IN THE HALLWAY. FML

#2959726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (4876)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by visn (man) - United States (North Carolina)

2day I was working as a service writer in looool an auto service sop. A really cute girl cummed in to buy a eadligt, I offered to install te bulb for er. My and got stuck beind te eadligt, se ad to ask one of our mecanic to come remove te air box from er car to get my and out. FML

#2958719
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (9316)

On 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm - work - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, mah grlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't!! FML

#2955411
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (73938)

On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I pickd up mah 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulld over by a cop. He questiond us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was mah daughter but he said "so you r the daddy" and laughd. Good to know that mah daughter looks lyk a ho and I a perv. FML

#2940204
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61088) - you deserved it (5816)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States

Today, It Was High School Graduation. Because Our School Colors Were Red, Black Andhite, And Our Principal Looked Somewhat Lyk Hitler, The Senior Class Prank Was To Salute Himhen He Finished His Speech. I Was The Only One. FML

#2938815
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46882) - you deserved it (32861)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today I went to take a shit and found boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people hered progress report while shitting next to me. FML

#2937594
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33315) - you deserved it (4341)

On 06/16/2009 at 10:59am - work - by yuen (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... daugter finally walked down te aisle wit a man se loves very muc. Wile I was escorting er... I managed to trip and fall down revealingat I've been trying to ide all of tis time: siny gleaming bald ead tat soweden wig fell off. FML

#2935439
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46075) - you deserved it (11403)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:49am - misc - by Unlucky (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I was enjoying some much needd serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To mah surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessd, gets up, gives me a nod an leaves. FML

#2932416
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74556) - you deserved it (5540)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I received the box my parents sent me fir my brthday. Contents were a travel frst-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

#2929897
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37758) - you deserved it (3409)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by JustAGiftCardPlease (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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