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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

#3050624
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48450) - you deserved it (2531)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML

#3046159
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12307) - you deserved it (50362)

On 06/19/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by pinkplasticjesus (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

#3042247
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52869) - you deserved it (6149)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:12pm - love - by thissucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML

#3038702
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13123) - you deserved it (40055)

On 06/19/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by popemichael (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (4905)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone died. I plugged it in to charge and then went out to run some errands. When I returned, my phone was no where to be found, and our shovel was on the floor, muddy and wet. I then discovered my 6-year old son had buried my "dead" 200$ palmpilot because he had felt sorry for me. FML

#3030718
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43861) - you deserved it (6223)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:57pm - kids - by no_service (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

#3030585
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42244) - you deserved it (4906)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

#3017224
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51192) - you deserved it (17953)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was using the bathroom in a department store. When I was finished, I couldn't get the stall door open. I am claustrophobic and I freaked out and and started shouting for help. A 6 year old boy got the door open for me. It turns out I was pushing when I should have been pulling. FML

#3011337
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8913) - you deserved it (46713)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by ToiletTony (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11861) - you deserved it (59405)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was riding the bus home from the Verizon store after getting my brand new EnV Touch. I was taking pictures with it when I noticed a woman with very nice boobs. I zoomed in to get a better picture when she looked at me with a disgusted face. The external display was on. FML

#2997013
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6611) - you deserved it (88825)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by heythurr234 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

#2991516
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (34151)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45465) - you deserved it (8186)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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